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Jill Zarin to Launch Shapewear Line

I can’t tell you how many times in the last few years I’ve wriggled and wrastled my way into a pair of Spanx and thought to myself, “tinselkitty, today’s gonna be rough – you really need to access your inner bitch and have it at the ready.” Thanks to Skynet’s ever diligent thought-logging, my dreams are soon to be reality.

Jay Photoglou’s Back

And He’s Got Receipts, Bitches! Uh, I Mean Your Honor.

At this point I think Gretchen should get her own show. It would be called Gretchen Goes to Court and there would be more than enough footage for a few seasons.

“I think you guys are going to love it!” – Kim Kardashian, 10/28/10

Mom, What Does Predatory Mean?

Well, that didn’t last long. Attorneys for the Dash Dolls (seriously, not kidding, that’s what was reported as their name on this) have said the Dash Dolls are terminating their agreements with all parties affiliated with this portend of the coming apocalypse. There was something about attorneys general and how it could violate consumer protection laws, but, like, whatever. They’re so over it. They weren’t even marketing this to our military troops so, like, the Dolls don’t know why there’s a general involved in the first place.

Real Housewives of Atlanta Recap à Deux

I Had To Do One, Too!

Our ladies kick off this week’s supersized episode with Kandi at her shop for an episode of Kandi Koated Nights.

Kandi shares the news that Nene’s landed a gig as an entertainment reporter on 11 Alive. Nene looks so proud and happy and then Kandi tells everyone that Nene isn’t adventurous and she only likes to receive in the bedroom. I think this is the first time I’ve ever seen Nene squirming. Does squirming make your freak number go up or down?

Real Housewives Of Atlanta Recap – NeNe Get Your Gun

 

You Have Done Me A great Makeover

Ok we are so Phaedra’d out and quite frankly.. I can’t get enough of her to just blog about.. but we had a new “YOU BEEN DOING ME WRONG!!!!” kind of issues going on so on we must go..

We start off with Kandi Sticky and Sweet btw who is celibate and talking to radio peeps about sexie times who is gettin none.. GIVE ME A BREAK!!   If you are not in the groove..  you cannot talk as a muse.. PERIOD!!

All the housewives sans Phaedra are invited to guest host on Kandi’s Sugary Times to git their freak on but to ask them about their Nasty meter.. to let us know who is who and who is nastier then whom!!  Give me a break.. some dips their toes in the water.. some look quite perplexed then tries to provide a rating on the nasty meter..    Ok for all my readers.. I don’t freak and tell.   I prefer not to divulge how nasty I get and not to give you a visual..  YOU GIT NUTTIN!!  But I get alot of money.. Hey!!!  I’m Just Saying..  KUDOOS to NeNe!!!  I am raised as a woman who creeps in a high priced fashion and not giving them away..  NO KANDI SWEET STICKY CHIT!!!

RIP Leslie Nielsen

You Were a Hella Funny Man, Sir

It is with great regret that we tell you that Leslie Nielsen, 84, has passed away at a hospital in Ft. Lauderdale. Nielsen had been hospitalized as a result of pneumonia.  I watched his movies over and over when I was little but of course missed half the jokes until I was older.  Hit the jump for a greatest hits video and send this man out with a laugh.

Real Housewives of Atlanta – Preview

Tonight is a new installment peeps of Real Housewives of Atlanta!  I don’t know if last weeks episode can ever be topped since I found it the best episode ever.  We left off last week with learning that Phaedra did not die in childbirth and produced an Asian baby (per Phaedra) and NeNe is well on her way to getting a new job as a Radio talk show host interviewer by interviewing for the job with name dropping celebs such as Tyler Perry and Monique!  I hope NeNe can deliver but somehow I think what NeNe wants, NeNe gets and nothing will get in the way of knocking down the doors of any celebrity who lives in the Atlanta area.   Below is a preview of NeNe at her first day of work.

Vodpod videos no longer available.  

Bawby! Come Look It…

Jill Wants To Be In Your Bedroom

I’m not sure which is the bigger story – Jill Zarin’s bedding line or the fact that radaronline.com thinks Jill Zarin talks to anyone exclusively. Since there are pictures of the bedding, we’ll go with that first. Let’s take a look at Jill’s EXCLUSIVE (Radar Online’s very proud of this exclusivity, caps theirs, not mine) conversation with Radar Online.

I’m Officially Old

You Probably Are, Too, So You Might Want to Quit Laughing So Hard

It was a sad night.  The weather had been sucky, I was feeling a bit off and it just hadn’t been a good day.  I was flipping around, contemplating the idea of shuffling off to bed and letting the day end when I landed on this.

TV Time 101 – Now With More Porn

Betcha Didn’t Think I Could Do It, Didja, IJS?

Well I did.  Proving twice over that just because you can do something doesn’t necessarily mean you should.

Living In This Economy – Ur Doin’ It Wrong

If It Makes You Feel Better, I’m Doin’ It Wrong, Too

I’m just so naive.  I never understood why people held so much hate for women that hook up with celebrities and athletes and then get pregnant.  You give up so much when you have a baby; surely these women aren’t doing it on purpose.

Thanksgiving Snark Target

Embiggened to Handle All Your Holiday Wrath

Now that Thanksgiving is almost done for another year, it’s time for us to gather with our real family and participate in our age old ritual of joining together as one to pick off the weakest or most offensive of the latest herd of housewives.  Yes, dearests, let’s find out more about Kelsey Grammer’s soon-to-be ex.  For our purposes tonight, she will now be referred to as Not Kelsey’s Wife.  One, because I snickered the whole time I wrote the post about Kelsey’s new apartment and two, because Pixie said it was funny.  So, let’s explore my conspiracy theory, shall we?

Nick’s name is Nick Stabile.  His wife’s name is Tricia Small.  She also sometimes goes by Tricia Small Stabile.  Here are a few tidbits I unclickerd (uncovered using the internet – I’m starting my own language) using my very, very trusted buddy Google.

• Nick and Tricia have a production company – http://bellavitaent.com/
• Nick is an actor – http://nickstabile.com/
• Tricia is an actor – http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1671787/
• Tricia is a singer – http://www.manmadesouls.com/triciabio.html
• Tricia and Camille are partners in a jew-ry* business – http://www.amorephosis.com/about-pid-11.html

As a big fan of Kathy Griffin, as I think we all are, amirite?, let me just pause here to say allegedly.  Allegedly!  Allegedly my theory is that these three cooked up Not Kelsey’s Wife and Nick’s behavior to get Nick some extra airtime.  Maybe Tricia, too.  I think these three figured if Not Kelsey’s Wife and Nick acted all kissy wissy with each other all the time then the producers might try to package that storyline and, voila, Nick’s on every episode.  They just didn’t know that Kelsey had his own little storyline that was much juicier and more satisfying.  Who cares if Not Kelsey’s Wife is screwing around if Kelsey’s already dumped her?

That’s right, peeps.  I think Not Kelsey’s Wife tried to insert a *gasp* storyline into our reality television.  That bitch!  Does she not know how reality tv works?  That’s what the producers are for!  Not Kelsey’s Wife is probably trying to get producer credits for this show, too.

Okay, so you’ve chewed on my theory for a little bit.  Now, with that in mind, remember the scene where they were all at lunch at Not Kelsey’s Wife’s house and she and Tricia exchanged that little cutesy ass remark about sharing their husbands?  At that time we all assumed she was making a reference to the fact that she was boinking the bejesus out of Nick on the daily.  Now when I think about it, it sounds like she and Tricia were sharing a secret joke about how they cooked up this little scandal for the screen and ha ha, if those dumb ass viewers only knew.  Yeah.  That’s right.  Not Kelsey’s Wife just insulted your intelligence.  How you like her now?

To further tie into my Alleged! theory, I thought that bit where Not Kelsey’s Wife kissed Kim and said it was just a stage kiss was really odd.  Now methinks the producers were cluing us in to the fact that Not Kelsey’s Wife is experienced in the ways of stage kissing.  Allegedly!

So whatcha think?  Take all that righteous anger you’ve got pent up from a day with the family and just focus it right here, peeps.  Not only is it cathartic, but Not Kelsey’s Wife actually asked us to do things like this, remember?  This is an empowering group.  Besides, it’s not healthy to hold all that jealousy at Not Kelsey’s Wife in.  Let it out!  Hear us roar!

*jew-ry shall hereby replace jewelry, credit to DeShawn Snow, Real Housewives of Atlanta, Season 1

And Now A Word From Our Sponsers…

Kelly’s Calling, Wants To Know If She Can Book Next Year’s Gig

I Just…Don’t Get It?

 

In an effort to reduce costs, Charmin will no longer perforate its paper for easy tearing. Cats everywhere rejoice.

Why?  What does this do for her career?  Let’s be honest, I’m not Kim Kardashian’s biggest fan (you could probably put me under Karda-neutral) but I understand the hustle and making money while you can.  But this?  I’d like to think that if I had as much money as Kim Kardashian does, I’d pause and think this over for a minute.  After thinking it over, I do believe I’d come to the conclusion that I do indeed have enough money.  I suppose that’s just me.

Not Camille’s New Apartment

Not Camille’s Husband Bought a New Pad with Not Camille’s Money

I feel so sorry for Kelsey’s new girlfriend.  She’s only going to have 3,100 square feet to live in.  ‘Tis okay, her head isn’t nearly as big as Not Kelsey’s wife anymore’s is.  Check out these new digs.  The views look awesome.