Real Housewives Of New York City Reunion ALL Three Episodes!! (Holy Shenanigans)

Kelly Been Shmokin

Mix 3-parts Reunion with 3-parts Looney Bitches, add a dash of More-Confused-Than-Ever Host, serve  on the rocks, shaken, stirred and batshit crazy.  You got yourself a Real Housewives of New York City Straightjacket  Martini.

Straight Jacket Martini (before the jacket)

I’m going to try and sum up all 3 parts of this parade of ridiculousness, from my own humble POV, one housewife at a time…in no particular order.  Yea right- let’s go from “must be slightly off to participate in this” to “holy shitballs, the sanity has left the building!”.   Oh boy- here goes!

• Sonja:

Andy questioned her like he was the school principal and she was the upstanding kid who witnessed a fight in the locker room.  “So…what reeeally happened, Sonja?”.  Amid typical questions about her lineage (?) from Andy and peculiarly chosen viewer questions about her free-spirited style of dating, she basically served as the hall monitor for Saturday school and the Bitchfest Club.  I appreciated her pointing out to Kelly that she never had any conflict with her on Scary Island and tried to be a “friend” (translation: keep a watchful eye while gathering valuable information to be reserved and used at a later date). 

She made Kelly admit that this whole “Systematic Bullying” campaign (more on that bullshit later…ugh) and “4 against 1” madness was not only a blatant lie, but a slap in the face.  Kelly did not actually admit anything (God forbid!), but she said something like, “OK well not you Sonja…” You’re making homemade PSA’s about bullying and Sonja had your should-be-against-a-padded-cell back the entire time and that’s all she gets?  She even made sure to flat out state that Kelly was not behaving normally and that it was cause for concern.  Followed by a resounding, “Kelly was not bullied…no she was not.”  To which Kelly of course replied, right after pseudo-apologizing to Sonja for 3 whole seconds, that now all of a sudden she couldn’t have known what was going on with the bullying against poor Kelly because Sonja was positively shit-faced the entire time.  W-O-W.  Sonja’s comeback?  Kelly served as the official fun-ruiner of the vacation! LMFAO!  Next up?  Sonja nailed Jill also by letting her know that swooping in on the revamp of Scary Island after Kelly left was not only inappropriate (“This isn’t a 6-year old’s birthday party!”) but did indeed seem insincere.  Overall, Sonja came off as someone who is able to take the hard questions, laugh at herself, admit wrongdoing (which is like Kryptonite for most of these bitches) and see the show for what it is.  She made it clear why her child did not appear (yet) and gave props to the ladies for being the pioneers and making a way for her to do….something.  I guess we will have to wait and see what that is, should she return in future seasons (which I hope she does).

Pretty Little Liars – Initial review…. Who’s A?

Ok, so I wasn’t so into the buildup of getting ready to watch, Pretty Little Liars.  But there was so much advertisement and push to watching it, that I promised myself to give it a try.  Before I start, I had nothing against this show, I just wasn’t into watching yet another high school show.  With that being said… here we go.

Ok, firstly, this show starts out with all five girls together, drinking “something” out of the cup.  All the girls pass out and when they come to, Allyson is gone.

Now we jump to the day before the start of the next school year.  Just as the one girl, Aria leaves the house the dad stops her and she says, don’t worry dad… I’ll keep your secret.  Ok… so there’s already plot lines concerning parents too.  So she goes into a restaurant, meets a hot older man (not crazy older) and they start making out… you knew once he said he’s a teacher and just got a job….. well.. let’s just say that was easy.

Jersey Couture Episode 2

Ok You Look AWESOME!! Wait that MY Dress!!The Whole Gang

The Whole Gang

 

Okay did I spell that right??  A girl gotta know.  Couture.. cuture, cutyoureyesout??  Well Its Jersey and we think what we know from fist pumpin and hot tubs.  Sheesh

We missed tawking about last episode.  Its a family who has a dress shop who are way to tight nit and the poor 27 year old single lady with no ring on it moved out to the astonishment of her family members.  Oy Vey!!  Who would do such a thing for independence and what the hell is that and why?? 

No worries the rest of the Joisey goils got your back woman..

Spendaholic ‘Housewife of NJ’ owes a big-hair-raising $11M

Its as Plain as the hair on me forehead!!

 

Thanks to the AMAZING NY Post, we have the deet’s on the infamous bankruptcy that plagues a Real Housewife!!!!!!!

She has a gaudy new mansion, pricey breast implants and spends thousands of dollars on shopping sprees for her spoiled brats — but a New Jersey reality star and her goombah hubby are real-life deadbeats who owe $11 million, court records show.

Free-spending “Real Housewives of New Jersey” diva Teresa Giudice and her husband, Joe, make just $79,000 a year and are up to their tanned necks in liens, foreclosures and unpaid bills, according to bankruptcy papers filed in Newark federal court.

The Giudices say they owe creditors $10,853,648.04.

Real Housewives of NYC- Season Finale

"Satchels of Gold" "Al Sharpton" "Laced Gummy Bears"

 

Right out of the gate, I want to say that this has been, by far, my favorite season of any Real Housewives franchise.  It’s strange because these are basically the same ladies we have been watching for a few seasons and found them entertaining, ridiculous and drop-kick worthy.  But NOTHING like this season.  It’s like the stars aligned over Bravo in just such a way that it activated some Crazy-As-F*ck Chip in all of the women.  And Mad Scientist Andy Cohen rubbed his hands together as lightning struck behind him, raising his hands in triumph, watching the ladies rise up off their operating tables and stumble into our television sets every Thursday, to terrify, mortify and make us thank God we are not related to any of them.  Yes Andy Cohen…it’s alive.

Let’s break it down, shall we?