Celebrity ReHab – Season 5: Episode 1 “Intake”

Too Hot For Teacher!

 

 I Wanna’ Be A Celebrity rehab

This is one of those shows that started out well-intentioned.  Dr. Drew Pinsky welcomed addicts into his Rehab Center.  We viewers got a taste of the path an addict takes on the Road to Recovery.  Flash forward a few years and the intention is lost.

Welcome Ceremony

Enter some Z list celebs.  First up, The Long Island Lolita, “I shot Mrs. Buttafuoco” Fisher.  WHAT?  Don’t you stay in jail for a very long time for attempted murder?  Nope, she stayed six years.  Now she is an A lister in the Adult Movie world.  Her addiction, she has to drink to survive making porn.  I’m attempting a guess here but maybe drinking might make porn a teensy bit more fun.  Anyway, Dr. Drew amuses us with a few questions.  “Do you drink every day?  She, “No”    He asks, “Do you black out and do inappropriate things”?   Stop right there Drewster.  Isn’t that the point? She drinks to make porn.  He wants to know if she does other inappropriate things like any of that would measure up to wearing that saddle.  Geez!

Next up, Jim Jackson, Hogan Buchannan from Baywatch, Who? He was a child on Baywatch. I don’t remember him.  What with Hoff showing his pecs and Pamela Anderson bouncing her pecs who saw this kid?   Meth was his drug of choice.  He is now 10 years sober.  What a surprise, he wants to get back into acting.  He decided to be the next Rocky.  In order to get into the role and gain entry via reality TV, he has started shooting up steroids.  We are treated to ol’ Jim injecting steroids into his very fine behind.  He enters ReHab with a moving van .  Poor Shelly the ReHab tech has to examine every single thing.  She finds a machine that purifies water.  ReHab has bottled water but the Rocky wannabe informs Shelly that bottled water eab RRAnnounces causes bisexuality.  Shelly says that hasn’t worked for her.  ZING!  Shelly is the woman to watch this season.  He of course interviews with Dr. Drew and is naming cow drugs that you would never recognize that he shoots into his beautiful bum.

News, Rumors and Just Plain Ol Gossip

Real Housewives of Atlanta star has long criminal record  Clink to read more

The latest series of hit reality show ‘The Real Housewives of Atlanta’ has not yet hit TV screens – but a new member is already causing controversy. For it has emerged that Marlo Hampton has a long criminal track record and was snapped for seven different mugshots between 1999 and 2003. – HSD / Splash News

It has emerged that Marlo Hampton has a long criminal record and had seven different mugshots taken between 1999 and 2003.

Hampton, who is engaged to NFL player Charles Grant, was booked on a string of different charges by the Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Department while living in Tampa, Florida.

She has been arrested for aggravated battery with great bodily harm, probation violations, buying items with a worthless cheque and possession of a firearm.

Hampton, 35, said: ‘I am not ashamed of my past as that has helped me become a better woman today.

‘We all have a past and my hard-knock childhood in and out of the foster care system is a reflection on a bigger issue we are faced with here in America, a broken foster care system.

‘My present charge in life is to live with God in my heart and help young women especially from the foster care system avoid the challenges I faced.’

‘Mob Wives’ Drita D’avanzo: I Don’t Want My Kids To Take After Me!   Clink to read more

And Drita’s kids are luckily adhering to their mother’s advice. “Aleeya had an incident when she first moved here — girls not wanting to be nice to her. She came home crying,” remembers Drita. But Aleeya didn’t raise her fist. “She actually said, ‘I was so mad that it was so hurtful, but I remember you said ignore them and I did.’ I was so proud of her because I was in kindergarten when I punched a kid in the face.”

“When people say mean things to you, you have to feel sorry for them and pray for them to be a better person at night,” Drita always reminds her kids.

But Drita still fears that Aleeya’s emotions could cause her problems down the road, because that’s exactly what happened to her father, Lee D’avanzo. “Why I want to get my daughter help in therapy is because my husband had anger issues with the fact that the feds killed his father,” explains Drita. “He immediately had a hatred towards the law. His mother said he became a totally different person when he woke up.”

“Not that that’s Aleeya’s case,” continues Drita. “She can get angry at the world because her father’s not around,” but she keeps it all inside.

Drita just doesn’t want to see her daughter ever react like Drita does under pressure. “The last incident that I had just went to show me that really I could just end up in jail,” says Drita referring to the season finale fight where blood is drawn. “These kids have no business not having both parents around”

Ramona Singer: I Don’t Have a Drinking Problem Clink to read more

    

“Do I overdrink? No. I drink with responsibility,” Ramona told In the Mixx at a recent event for Hamptons Magazine at the Southampton Social Club. “I drink with a beautiful dinner. I would rather have my one or two glasses of Pinot Grigio than dessert which is 700 calories.”

Though she admits her name has become synonymous with the white wine, she’s using that to her advantage with her own line, Ramona Pinot Grigio.

And besides, the 54-year-old explains, drinking comes with being a Real Housewife.

“All I can say is, we’re filmed in social events. If you look at anytime I have a drink in my hand, look what LuAnn [de Lesseps] is drinking. The other people are drinking,” Ramona said. “The only person who doesn’t drink is Jill [Zarin]. She only drinks Diet Coke – and you wonder why? But anyway, all the other Housewives shows – they’re all drinking.”

Does it bother her that her costars, like Jill, have said they worry about her drinking? Or that she’s portrayed on the show as always wanting a glass of her beloved wine?

“I actually said to Bravo, I called them up I said, ‘Wait, is the story line so bad you have to make [my drinking] a story line? Because you know I don’t have a drinking problem,’ ” she said.

She also noted: “I’ve been on the show for four years. How can I have five businesses, be married 19 years, have a daughter who’s a straight-A student? I cannot even be a … functioning alcoholic if I had all of this stuff going on. It would be impossible. Do you ever see me fall down on TV? Do you ever see me slur my speech? Absolutely not. Do I have a drink or two with dinner? Absolutely.”

And that, according to her husband Mario, is good for business.

“You know what? It promotes the Pinot Grigio,” he says of the frequency of Real Housewives footage of Ramona drinking. “So if they want to make a big deal about it … that’s [fine].”

‘Cause We’ve Never Heard That Before

The ever-persistent arrival juggernaut that is the Salahis insist that they were invited as personal guests of Charlie Sheen to his show in DC last night. There was no crashing! Which in itself is a lie because you know at some point Charlie’s got to be crashing off his tiger blood warlock juice.

Umm, Thank Goodness for Small Favors?

Holy mega-diss, Playboy!

Michaele Salahi Says It’s All About Her

Sure it is, Michaele. She also says she’s happy now that she’s moved on. That’s a pretty quick turnaround from her devastation of only a few weeks ago. Michaele also tells us Andy totally had her back and said if there was no Michaele there would be no show. If that’s true, that’s a damn shame. I said it before and I’ll say it again – I would have liked to watch another season without shyster Salahi.

Lohan No Likey the Salahi

So which is it, reality show whores? Are they full of mean editors who hatchet job your storyline or are they the purveyors of truth? You can only pick one. I take this to mean Michaele’s “issue” was codependency? Was Dr. Drew trying to get her to see she might be in an abusive situation? She’s addicted to Tareq, isn’t she? What say y’all?

Way To Be All Devastated and Humiliated, Michaele

Son of a chickenfarker, Michaele, get a damn clue. We are all laughing AT you. If you want us to stop laughing at you, you need to go away. You obviously can’t afford a PR person to tell you this so I’m giving it to you for free. Hmm, wait a minute. Where did you get the money for all this botox stuff? Sorry, that’s the wrong question. Which of your many creditors are you not paying this month so you can get all this botox stuff? Yep, that’s the right question.

It’s A Salahi Day

It’s not that I want it to be that way, it’s just that I feel it has to be this way. There might be someone out there who isn’t aware of the Salahis and the swath of chaos and lies they leave in their wake. It’s a public service at this point.

No One Is Doing Anything To You, Michaele – You’re Doing It To Yourself

Flying S. Monster, Michaele, you’re worse than Camille and Taylor and Jill, all put together. At least they provide me with oodles of opportunities to point and laugh. You are just an embarrassment. Straight up, Salahi, go the hell away. Please understand, this is not just big talk for the blog while being secretly glad you’re still around for stories. I really, truly, honestly, from the bottom of my shiny, glitterific heart WANT YOU TO GO AWAY. NOW.

How Many Ways Did They Not Think It Through?

At this point, I believe it is our patriotic duty, every single one of us, to point and laugh. Go on, laugh hard. Then we’re all going to look the other way and ignore them. Otherwise it will just keep happening. We do need someone to keep an eye on them, though, as they do keep getting closer and closer to Spiedi. If those two couples meet up, well, I just don’t want to know. I guess the Mayans were right.

I’m Watching Because I Want To See Her Without Him

 

 

 

So if she’s not suffering from an addiction, what’s it gonna be? Does she think Dr. Drew is going to cure her fauxtiple slcerosis? Whatever, I’ll still watch. I’m fascinated by the stories that bring people to that point.