Real Housewive of New York City Recap “The Mask Has Two Faces”

 

 

 

 

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Updates.. sorry peeps..  posting last night meant to be a draft..

We are starting this show with last week Sonja telling us there is a “pecking order”.. Lord haven mercy! Sonja you dipped your high falutent pretty ass in this one.. I hope the next arse is not so bruised..  Sorry you fell off the horse and bruised your arse..  Next time your costume should not be so sparse?    Next time use a make up artist to cover the arse and words in my next blog we will not parse!  Yeah yeah.. my rhymes are a farce..   

On the preview.. Ramona talks to Cindy speaking from a place of married for so many years.. do we get this statement?  Is it Ramona telling Cindy that she wont understand Ramona’s position because you need to be happily married for years to ‘get it’?  Certainly Cindy takes this as a dig that she is not married and I am not so sure of Ramona’s intent.  But I am proud of Ramona and Mario’s longevity in marriage.  I have no clue..  Knowing Ramona.. we will never have a clue with her ability to communicate properly.  Maazel Ramona.  You do have a relationship that most of us could die for.  Regardless of your message..  mazel.

Ok does anyone think the promo for the show with the gals  holding apples are as cheesy as they get?

Ramona:  If people can’t handle the truth it’s really not my problem.  ( they can’t handle it cause your to ramotional)

LuAnn:  If I thought I had it good before, But I am just getting started. ( your just shit stirrin woman)

Jill:  Ugh.. Good or bad, and I own it!  (you own nuttin but a big fat mouth!!)

Alex:  I have always had opinions but now people know it.. (ugh.. not so much)

Kelly:  I am living the American dream one mistake at a time.. (really, with gummy bears?)

Sonja:  I have a taste for luxury, and a taste has luxury for me ( girl ur all tasty like that.. ask your houseboy..)

Cindy:  I have everything I always wanted.. and its all on my own terms.  ( what is that?.. ask the baby daddy if you hold all the cards..)

Ramona has a photo shoot and is having difficulties in working like a model because she is not one.. she is trying hard not to give the Ramona eyes and calls on her assistant to let her now how to smile and mostly not express the crazy eyes.  At least we know Ramona learns from previous seasons.   Ramona looks amazing and we have seen some of this garb before.. You go Ramona.. get your bad self on and look good.  Squint or give us sexy eyes..  I know.. its hard.  Pretend your mad at Jill.  Now that’s sexy!

Jill visits Cindy in her home and she decides the place is not neat but having babies with 14 assistants and wonders why she is not neat?  But its ok.  Jill remembers kids live here.  So it’s not a home to entertain but a home to live in.  What a novel idea?   Jill has no kids at home and will try to be the gal who will do cowfee at the counter.  She pretends to feel comfortable as Cindy sits on the kitchen island with her bare feet on the counter.  She is more amazed that Cindy looks tired and haggared with so much help and has people to deal with the kids in the middle of the night.  So true Jill..

Jill and Cindy talks about Ramona and now Cindy makes it look like Ramona is some wacked job who has no mouth to brain and Jill is salivating over this but seems to hold back  a bit but says.. THANK YOU FOR NOTICING!  Cindy is the new gal in town who will challenge Ramona per Jill and encourages Cindy to tell everyone because Ramona has been so polarizing and everyone is askeared.. you go Cyndi..  tell everyone but not from me.. Jill is thinking.. “you didn’t hear from me!  but..   Cindy is Jill’s new dog licking her nostrils with rabies..  ruff.  “Her core is not good”  ruff

Chris Marchen has arrived to Sonja’s digs and he is appalled at the costume for the masquerade ball.   Sonja is too much of a rat pack and a self admitted frugal lady.. She shows off a wig that should have been tossed in the heaper but..  “ITS ALIVE!!”  Chris is just amazed at the shortness of the costume and is trying to sway Sonja into pantaloons and we will see where this turns up.. our out?

Jill and LuAnn turn up at the warehouse that has all things glamour and costumes..  Jill announces to the sales woman that she has less boobs and offers a peek.  The polite woman declines and says she has seen her fill of surgery fitting all the housewives many times over for various occasions.  Jill and LuAnne both find costumes while gossiping and cackling on their cast mates expense.  We will assume they will attend the gala with their masks in hand while rippin up the room with back stabbing and swords to cut them to the quick.    Jill wants a sword to cut a bitch but she aint me.   SORRY JILL!!  ROAR!!  Until you get a avitar that is made for you which is blades on a tongue you got nuttin!!  You need big girl panties for that one and no, your mommies panties will not do..

Sonja has poor Chris Marchen walking up and down stairs to save off her 409 in her elevator cause that was not important enough to remove and receive this poor large man and his lungs unless he is some count or a man with lots of dollars regardless of hair and manners.  GET THE 409 OUT OF THE ELEVATOR for poor mr Chris Marchen.. He is a god!!

Cindy receives her baby daddy in her home to visit the kids and she will not allow this man to play with the babies or do one ounce of tumbling with the kids what so ever!!  He can’t to do one tumble with any child or rough house to all her deep sighs or words she can’t express as to why something is wrong and plainly states.. NOO!!!!   She is way to much of a controlling mommy and needs to let go!!  For some reason I think this man will eventually get fed up and when the kids are old enough, he will have his own time with the children and do his own thing out of sight of Cindy’s controlling ways.  She can’t control the children’s relationship with their father and she needs to get a clue.  

Sonja expresses her tought time with her divorce financially and appreciates the sacrificial lambs gifted to her as an intern..hence… Michael..  what a shweet boy..

Sonja’s in the stretch limo and is feeling her oats as she pops champagne even thou  LuMann can’t make it.. we all knew that didn’t we?  I am wondering if LuAnn gave the usual excuse ‘the kids’.   Me thinks LuAnn is stuck in bed with her new boy toy and can’t walk.

The masquerade party is in a vault at Sonja’s favorite restaurant and there is Alex looking truly amazing in that black wig..  Simon is in some kind of Roman inspired get up.. Sonja walks in and is truly aghast and the costumes and we think this is going to go well!  A great host admiring her guests, lots of wine and food.. what can go wrong?

Jill walks in and now Jill is already naysaying the event and poopooing the whole event.  Even Kelly WTF??  How do you attend an event and already start dissing the party where you are an invited guest to simply have fun?  Until….

Until..  drums roll please.. 

Sonja just realised  she had no panties or pantaloons!   She was sporting a big ol bruise on her arse from the horse accident and now has no realization for her bare arse?  HORSE PLEASE!!!  (Cindy walks in)  I KID I KID!!  I say Sonja is lacking one assistant.  An assistant to check her ass out to make sure its covered or at least not bruised.  Or at least put some pancake on that ass!!

I still love me Sonja so I am gonna explain it all!!  OK  it was the horse fall but have no splanation for the non covering up for the bruise.. ugh

This is the best part..   Kelly talking about how flamboyant that Sonja is with her body.  Kelly is making all kinds of statements that at a certain age like herself, eh hem, there is a time to cover up and act your age.   um.. Kelly posed in Playboy last season and let it all hang out.. the same season that Bethenny posed for PETA?  Oh I forgot, Kelly didn’t endorse that because she likes to eat meat and wear fur but not for torturing animals in the process.  WTF?  Hey! I’m Just Saying!!

 Jill went with Cindy for a Dentist Appt. and who cares? Lowenberg?? who cares?  Jill says she is a docta now cause all her experience and everybody knows that none of us goes to docta’s so we need to lean in close and listen fast!  Jill and the dentist wants to reduce the horsey look and make Cindy more of a sheep cause dats how Jill rolls! 

Now Its time for Ramona’s wine tasting and her girlfriend Jenny the Bride gave Ramona some intel.   Jill had approached her and was angry about why was Silex invited.. blah blah blah.. then she tells Ramona why would she ‘Jennifer’ be friends with Ramona.. oh no.. this is fighting words.. you know dang well Ramona confronted Jill and all hell broke loose.  Jill ran out, cried like a baby but not before she ran into Jennifer on the way out to grill Jennifer on what she divulged to Ramona and when Jennifer tried to speak her mind, Jill just cut her off so the camera’s would not capture Jennifers truth and said.. blah blah.. we are good and call me next time and poor Jennifer agreed.  Jill then came back in the party to confront Ramona.. we not having this chit.. call her out and bring her to me face!!  Jill wanted an intervention or maybe a confrontation?!  Well needless to say it wasnt on Jill’s turf and it got no where..   Jill offered a lunch to shmooze it over and Ramona has to think about it. 

Ramona meets with Jennifer and gets the deets.   Jennifer once again confirms what she said earlier and Ramona pops an eye ball.  Jill made a whole mess of this wedding and now blaming it on the bride and really Ramona??  Isnt that what you said?  Ramona made the bride cry?  You a fukin liar and now we get to the bottom of this.. Hey. Im just saying..

Jill says Jennifer just wanted to be on the show and she is now disavowed.. period.. she has no credibility on all accounts according to Jill.  Can we say last season?

We now see Jill crying like a baby oh my… oh yes yes.. no one put Jill in a party dress!!

LuMann is just petting Jill’s head to comfort her while spewing ugly remarks towards Ramona and promises to put itching powder in Ramona’s underwear like they did last season to Bethenny..

Until next week!!~