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The Official Venue Should We Ever Decide to Meet Up IRL

Posted by tinselkitty on June 8, 2011


We do not tolerate people that talk or text in the theater. In fact, before every film, we have several warnings on screen to prevent such happenings. Occasionally, someone doesn’t follow the rules, and we do, in fact, kick their asses out of our theater. This video is an actual voicemail from a woman that was kicked out of one of our Austin theaters. Thanks, anonymous woman, for being awesome.

Best part? The fact that they included all of her spelling and grammar errors as spoken and varied the font sizes to match her emphasis. Excellent typography, too.

As someone who is frequently irritated by the glow of cell phone screens in darkened theaters (yes, I really wish sometimes that I wouldn’t notice every goddamn thing all the time), I applaud the management at the Drafthouse. It sounds like a pretty cool place on top of holding the hard line on movie disrupters.

There are the Quote Alongs –

“Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”

“The dude abides.”

“I know you are, but what am I?”

There are some movies with dialog that’s so entrenched in our culture, so ingrained in our brains, and so much a part of who we are as people that it seems just silly to make us sit and watch the film in total silence. And so even though the Alamo is usually very strict about kicking out anyone who talks during the movie, at The Action Pack’s Quote-Along series we’re more likely to kick you out if you *don’t* talk during the film.

Every movie has key lines subtitled karaoke-style so you can quote-along even if you haven’t seen the movie in a while, and each show has a set of props to help take the action on the screen and make it come alive in the theater. Whether it’s inflatable swords you can wave around with The Princess Bride or coconut shells for clomping with the “horses” in Monty Python and the Holy Grail, every Quote-Along event features something that makes it more immersive than any other screening you’ve been to.

There’s Girlie Night –

Girlie Night celebrates the much-loved but often neglected genre of Slumber Party Movies. You know, the ones where you rewind an awesome kiss and watch it five times while sighing deeply or squeal with your friends when the boy and girl finally get together like you NEVER THOUGHT IT WOULD HAPPEN (even though you’ve seen the movie a thousand times).

At Girlie Night, you can squee without shame.

Seriously. We’ve squeed along with everything from ’80s classics like Dirty Dancing and Pretty in Pink, to ’90s teen romps like Clueless and Can’t Hardly Wait, all the way up to more recent favs like Mean Girls and Amelie — and oh so many more. Plus, we’ve always got special cocktails, so you can feel totally classy and fabulous while watching your favorite movies with an audience that appreciates those swoon-worthy moments just as much as you do.

Of course, the Drafthouse is equal opportunity with Tough Guy Cinema –

Tough Guy Cinema loves action movies. One day we sat down and thought, “how could we make these awesome movies….awesomer?” We then glanced down at our “What Would Michael Bay Do?” bracelets and realized the answer was right in front of us: more explosions and gun fights!

So we gathered up as many guns and ammunition as we could so you get to join in on the fun! With every ticket purchased, you’ll receive a cap gun and a ton of caps to shoot-along with your favorite heroes and villains during epic fight sequences.

But that’s not all! At specific locations the tough guys amass an unsafe amount of black powder and flame torches to create a fiery spectacle unlike anything anyone has ever seen in a movie theater.  Not only do you get to watch totally incredible action movies with a theater jam-packed with armed fans just as excited as you, but your face is also literally melted off with stuff exploding LIVE in front of you! There’s just something infinitely more gratifying about feeling the heat from an explosion coming off of the screen and onto your face.

And holy shit! there is Cute Night –

Don’t try to deny it– we’ve all fallen victim to the adorableness of the internet. You log on to YouTube just to watch that one video your mom sent you of a dog on a trampoline, and four hours later, you’re in a coma of cuteness. It’s happened to all of us, and if loving kitten videos is wrong, the Alamo Drafthouse doesn’t want to be right! We’re celebrating everything precious on the internet, from babies laughing to different animals being friends to Boo the Dog and Winston the Cat. Expect to oooh, awww and squee uncontrollably for a full 90 minutes!

LOL cats on a giant screen!?! HELLS YEAH!

Can you imagine getting everyone together to watch a RH marathon, complete with props, booze and cap guns for everyone so we can have at our least favorite housewives? Pure, unadulterated, chickendicker awesomeness, that’s what that is. Personally, I’d be bringing along a good pair of noise reducing headphones for viewings of New York. The gunfire associated with Jill Zarin alone would be enough to cause substantial hearing damage.

What props shall we bring? Reams of legal paperwork to throw in people’s faces? Koala bear clips? Huge necklaces? Hair extensions? What else, peeps? We must be prepared!

Oh, yes, my lovelies, we must do this.

Yeehaw! Magnited States of America!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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7 Responses to “The Official Venue Should We Ever Decide to Meet Up IRL”

  1. ThugInACocktailDress said

    OMG! Ashley Holmes is in Texas? Poor TrAshley getting kicked out of the theater! Don’t they know she is the next Carrie Bradshaw?

  2. Oy Vey said

    Don’t forget the mace!

  3. KurlyHairedB said

    Sprinkled Cookies in honor of Teresa Guidice. Since they are so absolutely horrific that anybody that brings them as a hostess gift is obviously a horrible person. I happen to like sprinkled cookies, so I guess that I’ll never be invited to Teresas house. I’ll get over the disappoint soon…..

  4. Mrs. Hugh Jackman said

    @ThugInACocktailDress…Hi! 🙂 OMG! You’re killin’ me. LMAO!!!!!!

    @IJS….Hi! 🙂 What an imbecile! Love the Alamao Drafthouse. Wished every theater would kick out such imbeciles. LMAO!

    @3 Oy Vey…HI! LMAO! I’m with you!

    @4 KHB…Hi! I’ll never be invited either, or my family & friends. What a shame. LOL. Teresa’s kids probably would have liked them.

  5. BobLHead said

    Excellent PR move by the Alamo….the manager was on the LA radio this morning, he is getting mad publicity from this….

  6. G-sus said

    TK, I will bring the disinfectant, that way we can spray down the screen every time Skeezy D makes an appearance.

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