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Mob Wives Recap – “It’s On And Poppin!”

Posted by ImaJustSaying on May 23, 2011


Folks, I wasn’t so sure I was going to recap this episode since it’s a busy week with Housewives, but after watching this episode, “ITS ON AND POPPIN!!” 

We begin this episode with tensions still high with Renee having words with Carla’s boyfriend at Drita’s birthday party, which I gotta tell ya, Drita was SMASHED!  Renee tried to tell Carla that her boyfriend was not good enough for her and “She could do betta”, but before Renee could go any further in the conversation, Carla walks away not wanting to hear any of it.

Also, we have the infamous sit down between Drita and Karen, where Karen wants to confront Drita on jumping in her grave so quickly when she broke up with Lee where eventually Drita married Lee, Karen’s ex.  I can understand Karen’s feeling of betrayal because it was not just any relationship.  Karen dated Lee for 7 years AND Drita lived with Karen and was privy to all the relationship ups and downs.  I find it creepy that your best friend who has supported you through a relationship and break up, now dates and then marries the same dude?

As Karen calls Lee a “scumbag” we see Drita’s veins start to pop out at her temples and neck and I am a bit worried for Karen.

Remember This Look? Skeary huh? Look at her neck

We start out in Carla’s house and Drita arrives.  She immediately goes into the sit down with Karen and they seem to be confused as to why Karen would confront Drita and not Lee.   I would think it would be hard for Karen to confront Lee since.. HE IS IN FREAKIN JAIL GIRLS!!  Most likely worried about dropping the soap in the shower.  He has bigger issues right now.

Karen meets Renee for dinner to discuss the sit down and thank god, Renee’s face went from ghoulish bloody hell to a lovely well rested look.  I don’t think I could ever do that procedure of laser peel but then again, I am no mob princess who is as tough as nails.  (I live vicariously through these ladies instead).

Renee tells Karen that she really didn’t get her point across to Drita and I don’t know what would have happened if Karen called Drita a coward?  Those veins on Drita’s face and neck would have bursted and ‘The Cleana” would have to be called in, to “clean” up the mess.  With lots of bleach.

Back at Drita’s house and she receives a call from Lee and somehow I get the feeling he is a bit aroused with one hand as he is talking to Drita holding the phone with the udda hand and asking for sexy photo’s.  They discuss the amount of skin that should be exposed incase the pictures get into the wrong hands.  I know they were speaking in code but I am a Jersey girl and can read between the lines.  A request for “Ass & Tits” are in order with red lingerie.  I seen all those movies too. 

Carla and Renee meet up for lunch and Carla thinks she knows what is going on with Karen and her disgust for Lee.   Renee tries to explain that Karen’s issue really is with Drita making light of the relationship Karen had with Lee and Carla tries to act as if was ions ago and Karens feelings are not relevant.  Renee tells Carla that if she was in the same situation, she wouldn’t have it either.. and here it goes, the conversation now goes in the direction of Renee not liking Carla’s boyfriend.   Carla says now she is going to tell her boyfriend what Renee is saying about him and so far, Renee has only said that she doesn’t like him.  Carla is sounding like she is in highschool and not really asking why people may have an issue with this undisclosed person.  I WANT A NAME!

Renee invites Carla for a Sunday dinner (“Suppa Sit Down”) to get all the bullshit out on the table and Renee tells Carla she IS INVITING EVERYONE!  Carla asks for confirmation and Renee repeats herself.. “I am inviting everyone”.  Some how Carla forgets this later.

Carla even states in her one on one that she thinks that Renee’s dinner may not fix all the girls and make them happy. 

Back at Renee’s home, Nikole arrives they sit down to a pile of “Jail Mail”.  Renee tells us that most of her relationships and family members have been incarcerated her entire life and keeps in touch by hand written mail.  What a novel idea.  I thought taking pen to paper was wiped off the face of the earth since mostly everyone I know communicates via email, but then again,  we are talking about jail.  I am assuming in jail there are no computers, iPhones or any kind of internet access for the inmates and the thought of me not having internet access gives the shakes and nausea.  

Jail mail inc..We'r not incorporated we're INCARCERATED!!!

Renee has come up with the idea to share her idea via internet and is launching a website “Jail mail inc..” which is not yet available.  “Jail Mail Inc..” would enable people who don’t have a lot of time to write lengthy letters to log in and fill out a form including forwarding address and can have cards automatically sent for various holidays or events.  ITS GENIUS!  Only I don’t know anyone in Jail but I would certainly advertise this here for all my readers to send to their acquaintances. 😉

Back at Drita’s home, she is rummaging through her closet to select outfits for her sexy photo shoot for Lee.  She models clothes for her daughter Gisele and what a cutie pie. 

How the hell did Drita raise such a cutie pie? Hey! I'm just saying!

Gisele is 3 years old and loves it when her mommy plays dress-up and she decides to play dress-up herself.   Tomato sauce face and all! 

Back at Renee’s house, she calls Drita to invite her to the ‘Suppa Sit Down” and Renee lies and tells Drita that it will only be the three of them (with Carla) in attendance and this is sounding a lot like Carla’s birthday party when Carla and Drita didn’t tell Renee that Karen would  be in attendance.  Karen is so non threatening and is on a path to managing unresolved issue’s and I don’t get why everyone is somehow threatened by her?  Now we already know that Carla knows Karen is coming so it’s just Drita who is in the dark.  Her temple and neck veins are now on my mind.

Back to Carla’s house and Carla tells us she needs to let Drita know what went down with her and Renee at lunch.  No doubt Carla is gonna tell a different story than the facts to skew Drita’s perception about what Renee has said in regards to Karen.  Carla tells Drita that Renee has said that you don’t know Karens side, but I didn’t hear that “outta Renee’s mouth” unless it was edited out.  Carla is totally hyping up the conversation and exaggerating and I think I just found a new wife to despise for shit-stirring.  Don’t she know what I did to RHONY Countless LuMann for shit-stirring?  They bring up the dinner and somehow Carla never brings up the fact that Karen is coming.  We find out that Drita is concerned about going to the “suppa sit down” after what Carla just told Drita and now it’s on.. its on… “On And POPPIN”  clink..

Renee goes to meet with Web Designers to bring “Jail Mail into the world”.   Renee has very specific idea’s on how to design the web page as a prison corridor with inmates poppin up.  I LOVE THIS!  Renee plans to earn income in a legal way by people sending mail to inmates who are not so legal.   Renee is my new hero and favorite.  Renee?  Can we have lunch? 

Do ya think Lee is gonna rub one out over this? It's On And POPPIN!!

Carla is getting glammed up for photo-shoot and she really looks hot.  She is a bit of a booby-monster but if it works for her.. its good enough for me.  The white hooded fur coat draped is freaking gorgeous and am now thinking of being a Mob Wife.  If I can hook up with Renee, maybe she can teach me the ropes?  I will promise never to call her a bitch, but man I want that fur coat.

We now learn that Renee has received an ugly text message from Carla’s douchebag boyfriend.  This boyfriend reminds me of some of the “men” on Twitter who engage in Twittin fights with women over other women’s honor.  So for now on, since I  don’t have a name for Carla’s boyfriend, I will call him Douchebag.  Fitting right?  Hey.. follow me on Twitter here.. .  Douchebag denies doing anything to anyone or even connected to Renee and I am wondering why he is being specific to denying things Renee may not like about him.. because she never said why yet!  What a douchebag. 

Carla heads over to Renee’s house for the “suppa sit down” and claims that “Renee betta not bring up ma boyfriend’s name, cause seriously.. I’m done”.  Done is in Sammy from “Jersey Shore”?  We know how that turned out.

Drita and Carla arrive at Renee’s house and Carla wants to unveil her new tatoo.  Renee shows the back of the neck tatoo and its a tiny little heart, I think and Renee tells us what her father had said when he learned about it.

“If dat dunt rub owff, I’ma rubbin you out!

Drita unveils the evil eye tatoo that is bigger then a “loaf of bread”.  Holy crap!  Oh I get it!  If I get some tatoo’s, will that make me a made woman as a Mob Wife?  I WILL DO ANYTING!  I really want that fur jacket.

Carla, Drita and Renee set the table and there are place settings for 4 bitches and not 3?  Drita gets the idea that Renee is getting her back for the Carla birthday party surprise but I don’t think that’s it.  Renee admits she lied as for who was attending.  Carla squeals a fake laugh and tells Renee .. “You do lie” and then looks up at the ceiling to avoid looking at Renee.  He we go shit stirrer!   Carla is totally poking and prodding Renee by challenging her integrity because she don’t like her boyfriend.  One has nothing to do with the other and Carla is truly a snake in the grass.  She is acting like someone just stole her candy and instead of dealing with it, she is inking the teeth on their high school yearbook pcitures defaming her frenemies.  What a loon!  Carla goes on again about “tawkin about my boyfriend” and “I didn’t believe her anyway”.  CHECK PLEASE!

Renee starts to get emotional and tells Carla how much she likes her and didn’t tell her the whole story but just told her that “I didn’t care for him for you”.  So far it’s confirmed, that’s all that Renee said and now Carla and Douchebag has invented stories that Renee may or may not care for Douchebag.  CONFIRMED!

Carla FINALLY asks for a good enough reason for Renee not to like the boy.  Renee finally tells her:

“You want a Fu**in solid reason?  Because when your boyfriend drinks, he likes to touch!”

Finally!  Now we got a solid reason and I think its gonna be on.. and poppin!

Yous Tawkin Bout My Boyfriend"

 Carla is stunned for a moment and cries out.. “Who did he touch?”  Renee asks.. “Are we gonna open da door?  Are we gonna open da door?”  Carla takes the bait and said, “OPEN DA DOOR!!”

Renee now addresses Drita and asks Drita if she is going to be Carla’s friend or not and now I think Drita also has some experience with Douchebag.  How many are there?  Drita tells Renee that Carla knows that Douchebag slapped her in the ass and Carla confirms this.  Renee now tells us that Douchebag told her that she is jealous of Carla.   Carla said something in response that I couldnt make out.  Something like  (to Renee being jealous)

“Cause maybe you didn’t get to suck his loaf of bread?…  I dunno…”

You Think I Want To Suck Douchebag's "Loaf of Bread"?

 Renee’s eyes bulge out of her skull and you can tell its gonna git ugly in here!   I had to run to the fridge and pour my 4th glass of wine because I am so stressed and Karen is not even here yet! 

Speak of the devil!  Karen walks up to the house and hears screaming and yelling and as she enters the room, Carla the mudda fudda shit-stirrer said with a flippant attitude.. “Look what the wind blew in”.  As if she was ready to take on Karen as well even thou they have no beef!  WHAT THE FUKE IS WRONG WITH YOU CARLA!  Drita gives Karen the death stare and doesn’t say a word. 

They rehash the short story for Karen and Karen doesn’t understand why they can’t talk about it since they are friends and Carla claims that Renee “don’t know him”.  Carla thinks Renee has only “heard things” and no real experience and Karen jumps the hell in the convo confirming.. “he grabbed me”.  Renee is elated that she was proven right.  But really how do you prove your right when Carla is now defending a slap on the ass and grabbing as playful?  Karen responds with..

No, he stuck his middle finger, practically up fu**ing my ass, thats what grabbing is like, he’s a gropa!”

My favorite line of the night!  KAREN IS ALSO MY HERO!!  Carla admits that Douchebag “is a gropa, a toucha and will admire her girlfriends ass” as long as its done in front of her and not behind her back and is fine with it and at this point Renee says ok, if your fine with it, so am I.  I guess Renee didn’t think that Carla would allow any douchebag she dates to be a “gropa” and now she is done trying to convince Carla what she already knew!  WTH!!. 

Karen tries to add some voice of reason here by saying how disrespectful it is to grab her ass when he doesn’t even “know her like that” and is interrupted with a new idea in Carla’s head.  Carla points her finger at Renee and says.. “But he didn’t grab your ass!!” and points to Karen and says , “he grabbed your ass” then points to Drita, “he grabbed your ass” then back to Renee.. “but he didn’t grabs yours?” with a sly smile on her face.   This is clearly Carla’s way of saying that Renee is not good enough to have her ass grabbed.    Well instead of Renee getting angry over this, I would have felt the dignity that my ass was not grabbed.  But then again, I don’t live in Staten Island.  I didn’t know your worthyness was tested on whether your ass was grabbable or not. 

Renee gets up to leave the table and Carla now starts exclaiming that she don’t take things personal for Mr. Douchebag being grabby and a gropa.  Renee spins around and thinks Carla is clearly out of her mind and asks her if she is “DUMB OR STOOPID!”.  Wacked out Carla calls Renee “sick” because she “lives in the stoneage’s” and she “loves it” by getting banged by Douchebag who is a poka, grabba and a gropa.  Well that clears it up for me. 

That Bitch Better Stop Yappin or She is Gonna Wear This Sauce!

Renee walks away from Carla’s stupid admition of loving the swinging life with a Douchebag and enters the kitchen to check on dinner.  As she opens the oven door, Carla calls Renee a “bitch”.  Not the ‘we be bitches’ kind of bitch, but the ‘I hate your fukin guts’ kind of bitch.  Before she can remove the food,  Renee carefully closed the oven door and heads right back into the dining room and now I need another glass of wine.  Karen is gulping her wine down hard at this time and I don’t blame her!

Ok I am back and also brought popcorn.  Totally think this next scene is popcorn worthy.

Karen charges over to Carla’s side and immediately Drita and Karen get up out of their chairs knowing damn well what is coming next.  Fighten words were spoken and its going down! 

RENEE!!!! KICK THAT BITCHES ASS!! ALL THE WAY BACK TO DOUCHEBAG LAND!

Drita starts to hold Renee’s hands which is pissing off Renee even more!  Drita!!  Your not helping!   While Renee turns her head to yell at Drita to “get away from me!”, Carla taps Renee on her face with her well manicured pointer finger really stirring it up now and Renee doesn’t take the bait.  Carla now screams in her girly girl voice.. “Don’t ever mention my boyfriends name outta your mouth!” and Renee leans in real close..  “He is a C*NT!”.  This is wear Carla puts her hands across Renee’s face and pushes!  ITS ON!!

Renee grabs Carla by the hair and slams her right to the ground and this is where I jumped out of my seat and screamed.. BEAT THAT BITCH RENEE!!  My kids came running to the top of the stairs to see what was going and on quickly knew what happened.. Did I feel ashamed?  HELL NO!! I am now standing up and cheering on Renee like a boxing match except I wasnt dolled up.  It’s all hair pulling at this point and I want to see some fists flying!!

Karen and Drita really try to break up the fight and finally separate the two.  Renee is completely unphased and ready for more!  At this point the producers are involved and that 3rd wall is exposed.  I am now wondering if that woman with the blurred face is Karens sister since she an executive producer and I wish she would just let them duke it out!

Carla is still going on and on, in her one on one interviews bout “my boyfriend” bidness.  Oh please Carla.  Take your Barbie dolls and go home.   Carla is trying to act tough now by picking up a plate a few inches and dropping it on the table to make it appear she is gonna bust up the place.  LAME!!!

Drita now tells the camera’s that she wished Renee didn’t hound on Carla about her douchebag boyfriend but this is how I see it.  Renee took too long to tell Carla what a douchebag, Douchebag is and when I saw that Carla said she didn’t care the Douchebag acts like a gropa, poka and a grabba, Renee tried to back off in wonderment that why would anyone allow that?  I am wit ya Renee!

LET ME AT THE DOUCHEBAG LOVIN BITCH!

Renee is standing at the front of the house and now Carla is looking for an escape exit and is walking around in circles.  Girl knows she is gonna git another beat down!  Renee charges in again for the kill and Karen puts herself in between them.  Karen is a brave ol gal!  Renee goes screaming something about her son to Carla and I can’t believe it, Carla puts her hand on Renee’s face again!  How lame is that anyway?  Carla puts her hands on Renee’s face with the thought in mind as to not break a fingernail!  That bitch can’t cut nuttin but a “loaf of bread”!  Wit her teef!! 

Shoes off CHECK!! Earring off CHECK!!

The fight continues and now  Renee grabs Carla again by the hair which leads Drita removes her shoes to.. um fight?  Why would Drita want to fight and with whom?  Some goon grabs Karen now and Karen is yelling at DRITA!!  WTH!  IT’S MADNESS I TELL YA!

Well next weeks episode previews are shown and the fight still continues.  I could see the executive producer, Jenn Graziano rubbing her palms together knowing this is going to be ratings gold! 

I have one question. Did anyone remove the dinner from the oven or is it toast now?

Last night as the show aired, additional drama ensued on Twitter and they continued the shmack down in a TWITTER WAR!!  My favorite kind!  Carla was as lame with the “my boyfriend wont touch your ass” and I decided that Renee was victorious!!     I captured all the tweets for you fans here!  <— CLINK

Also, here is a video of all the gals on Good Morning America.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

 
Until next weeks folks!  Keep it real and ON AND POPPIN!
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12 Responses to “Mob Wives Recap – “It’s On And Poppin!””

  1. Mrs. Hugh Jackman said

    IJS…Hey, I’d like to see these women have dinner with the NJ HW. I’d love to see Renee with Teresa. That would be wild. LOL.

  2. […] Mob Wives Recap – “It’s On And Poppin!” […]

  3. @ImaJustSaying — Great recap, thanks.
    I can’t stand Renee! Is her ex husband remarried?

    • Hey Boston! Nice to see ya stop by! Renee’s ex is not remarried but living with a girl friend. I dont think that matters now that he is on he will to be on the receiving end again of Jail Mail inc! 😉

      I wasnt so sure of Renee in the first episode but I really love her now! I get her. She may be dramatical but you know exactly where you stand with her. Renee AND Karen! I love this show more than my luggage! 😉

  4. Brooklynite said

    Loved the recap. Those girls went at it with the spirit of 1000 banshees. Carla is annoying and an extreme shit stirrer. She’s also blind as a bat when it comes to the Mr.Groppa. I’m calling him Ciabatta Glass, cause he’s a loaf of bread and invisible! 😛 Boy did I enjoy seeing Renee kick some ass. Unfortunatley the others got involved, but for a second it looked like it was going to be a free for all as I saw Drita getting some hair tugging off of Renee and Karen wanting to jump Drita. I LOVES IT!

    As for Karen… get over yourself! Yes, you dated/lived/banged a man for over 7 years and he didn’t put a ring on it. Here comes her girlfriend and confidante and bingo bango he marries her. She could’ve been upset that they both moved on but she relocated to be with family to never return, like a ghost. If anything she should’ve been mad at herself for not being able to close the deal with the ever evasive Lee.
    Drita. on the other hand, either gave Mr. Procrastination an ultimatum or he wanted conjugal visits in the pokey. Either way she’s the missus and Karen is the haz-been.

    I’ll be back for RHONJ. Make it good!

  5. Mrs. Hugh Jackman said

    @3 IJS…Oh sweetie, you & me both! LOL!! Talk about “entertaining”.

  6. LWoo said

    Okay. If my man is groping women’s asses, whether it’s in front of me or not, then there’s going to be a problem! That’s completely disrespectful.

    Renee tried to let it go, but I think Carla felt a little stupid when Karen said he rubbed her ass.

  7. LWoo said

    That’s my boo. 🙂

  8. […] Mob Wives Recap – “It's On And Poppin!” « Tv Time 101 […]

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