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Real Housewives Of New Jersey Recap – Blood is Not Thickah Than Wahda!

Posted by ImaJustSaying on May 17, 2011


 

Move over Manzo’s!!  We have a new family in town and I love the shake up and change-up! Thank you Bravo!!

New Tag Lines for the Joisey Gals!

Caroline“Life is about change, sometimes you just have to roll with the punches”
Teresa“Ima Jersey Girl, no one can knock me down”
Melissa“I live a life that most girls only dream of”
Jacqueline“I can hold my own, I am my own person”
Kathy“People say I am sweet, but I am tough.  Don’t cross me”

I just realized something, most of the other franchises have either apples, oranges, peaches or diamonds in their hands, do the Jersey gals hold anything in their hands?  We are famous for our summer time tomatoes.. would this do?

We got the juiciest racks of all Housewives!

The epic show begins with the Giudice family arriving to the Christening event and we have an elaborate party.  We have ice sculptures, baby portraits and lots of alcohol.  A fantastic combination to a #winning party!  The show starts right out of the gate at the Christening and a fight ensues!  I started the show 15 minutes late and I am now thinking the DVR didn’t record the beginning and no way Bravo will start the show in a scene that needs some serious back story!  “I was WROINNG!!”  (Marisa Tomei “My cousin Vinny”).  We now get the caption “One Week Earlier”….   phew.. I was really afraid I missed some key scenes and now we will get up to speed on what went down prior to the Christening.  I said a prayer in thanks.  In the name of the mudda, the fodda, the brudda and da sista.  Don’t ever skear me like that again Bravo!!!

We start at the pizza parlor and Teresa is conducting a book signing.  Joe is tossing some pizza’s and slicing meat to bring home his bacon.  Teresa is peddling her books to bring home her bacon.  Together, they are bringing home enough bacon to hopefully buy back their household items that were up for auction.

Caroline and family go to Hoboken to look at the apartment her sons are entering into a lease for.  Mama Manzo tries to keep a stiff upper lip but of course, Caroline cries since she would rather have her kids live at home until they are well into their 40’s until they are finally mature enough and no longer have a need to take dates to Midieval Times.  I don’t know about you guys.. but I do not have this empty nest syndrome and look forward to the day all kids are sufficiently independent.  Is that an actual possibility?  I have fears they will never leave.  Now THAT’S something to cry about.. seriously!

 

 Now we learn that Ashley is alive and well and interning in New York City.  Dang I wished those rumors were true that she would not be filming this year but I guess this is Jacquelines only story line of drama.  We learn that Ashley is not showing up or on time enough for the ultra skinny PR woman, Lizzie Grubman.  We also learn that Ashley blames it all on commuting and wants her own place in the city for a job with no pay.  Jacqueline doesn’t wait till they are in a private place to discuss the reality of her ‘pie in the sky dreams’, but further, makes Ashley look silly for such requests in front of the entire staff and Ashley runs out crying.  How old is Ashley again?  Where the hell did she adopt this sense of self entitlement from?  When is she going to act her age?  What kind of odd ring is she wearing that spans 3 fingers?  

Why am I asking so many questions that will never be answered in my lifetime? 

Why cant my tears get through to you!!

Ashley and Jac meets Chris for lunch to discuss how absolutely insane Ashley is and now Ashly is complaining that she has to wake up early and commute and no girl on this planet should suffer this miserable life!  Chris’s face is priceless as he tries to contain himself not to reach over the table and strangle this young girl into oblivion.  He has serious restraint!  When Chris tells Ashley he will pay for her commuting expenses Ashley really loses it now.  All her waterworks did not secure her an apartment in the city.  End Scene.

Teresa and Jacqueline have a sit down to discuss Teresa’s issue’s with her brother and sister in-law, Melissa and Joe.  Teresa is confused on whether or not you should invite your family to attend your book signing.  I can bet when she spoke to Caroline or Jacqueline on the phone regarding the book signing date, she would ask, “Are ya coming?”.  But I am certain Teresa never informed Melissa of a book signing date or location.  Didn’t she say they don’t talk?  But now Teresa is upset with Melissa or her brother for not attending.  We are going to split hairs all over this recap.  I love how Jacqueline assures Teresa with every issue she brings up, “It will all be fine”, “You are a strong woman”.  Lets get our lips injected more to feel better about ourselves.

We are now introduced to Melissa and Joe Gorga and Joe has no shirt on.  Hello camera’s!  Joe is beckoned to rub lotion on Melissa’s legs which results in a woody and now he wants to get his sexy times on.  Hello camera’s!  Do you think Melissa and Joe pre-planned all these camera scenes?   Melissa is wearing some kind of shimmering cocktail dress in the middle of the day with full on makeup and hair with a shirtless Joe who wants to rub her butt.

Melissa begins to complain about Teresa never telling her that her house is beautiful.  Why is it necessary for someone to swoon over your home?  How does this validate you?  What is the purpose of posing for the following ostentatious portrait? Is that her grandmothers table-cloth wrapped around her legs?

Grandma called. She wants her lace table cloth back!

We learn that Melissa knows her place in her marriage.  She is:

 ” A Cook in the kitchen, a lady in the parlor and a WHORE IN THE BEDROOM!“.

Then she flashes a huge smile just thinking about being a whore.  lmaoo  Just when I thought Bravo couldn’t find more outrageous pretentious people for casting, I have been proved wrong again.

While Melissa speaks of being a ‘whore’, she now shifts to the planning of the Christening and the anticipation of “welcoming her son into gods kingdom”.  I am not going to touch that one with a ten foot pole and you guys know what I want to say.  A Mary Magdalene she is not.

We are now introduced to Kathy, Teresa’s first cousin.  Melissa and Kathy really seem to get along and don’t have any of the issue’s Melissa and Teresa has.  As Melissa, Joe and Kathy sit down to lunch, they speak about their disappointment with Teresa not considering them family enough to be included in their public events over the past few years.  Sounds more like they wanted camera time in previous seasons and maybe Teresa blocked that?  Did she not ever plan to film with her brother for season 1 or 2?  We have seen other housewives family members but really up until now, we just learn of a brother from the same mother!  They speak of people who they are related to as “blood”.  Sounds like they are in a gang and not a family.

We are introduced to Kathy’s family and I think I am really going to like Rich her husband.  They have been married for 19 years and oh boy, he is not Italian!  I don’t know how she got away with this but I think she scored!  Rich says Kathy is “Sizzlin”.  That’s good enough for me!

How funny was Kathy riding her bike to the market.  I have no idea how far her home is to the market and I had to laugh.  This is the first NON pretentious thing I have seen so far in this episode.   Kathy is so right, what you do put in your mouth should be VERY IMPOTENT!  Right?.  Kathy talking to the grocer about food is hysterical.

Kathy to grocer:  “you know I am into veggies..” 

Grocer: (face drops, mouth hits the floor)

Kathy to grocer:  “And so many women are afraid of vegetables..” 

The grocer has no idea if she is speaking of cucumbers or dumb men.  After each declaration, she has a smile and tilts her head and I can’t tell if she is serious or fukin with the grocer.

The Manzo’s are attempting to cook a southern meal and their dialogue and cooking skillz are way off base and not even close to bordering on the mason dixie line.

The families are getting ready to attend the event and in Teresa’s house, its chaos.  The baby almost tumbles down the wooden stairs and I say thank god for makeup artists.  They multitask for various assigned chores.  Babysitting is beneath no one! as well as saving lives!

Look at da baby dabooboo

The wee lad who is the guest of honor is now ready to enter into ‘gods kingdom’ and I just heard angels sing!

Teresa is trying to get all the girls ready and avail herself to her glam squad and Juicy Joe is no help.  You see?  The makeup artist is now also playing the role of ‘get the husband in gear’.  I need one of those.   Now the hair stylist is getting the baby dressed.   Maybe Teresa is not as dumb as a bag of rocks as we thought!

We now learn that Joe has the ‘runs’ and wants to skip church.  Teresa proceeds to tell us what the runs are as if only they get afflicted.  Teresa says “the runs” like Jewish people say “cancer”.  Teresa swears that her stomach was rumbling as well and when she has the runs… “It aint no joke”.   I somehow think nerves are building for both Joe and Teresa in anticipation of interacting with family they have an estranged relationship with in front of Bravo Camera’s.

Melissa is freaking me out.  Again she is telling the baby that he is going to go to “Jesus’s Kingdom” in the back of the car on the way to the church.  

 A Christening/Baptismal is a sacrament which frees you from original sin.  This sacrament does not provide a rebirth or even allow the child to do the will of god.  Can we say, all this kissing her finger, signing the cross and babbling religion is a show to over shadow her “whoring in the bed” ways?  Hey she said it, I am just repeating it.  I didn’t make this stuff up folks!  It’s all beyond my years of experience!

The Look of Bankruptcy

Teresa arrives late to the Baptismal but does get a chance to kiss the baby and congratulate the parents.  They ask where Gia is and Melissa amazes me that she is annoyed that Gia missed the ceremony.  Melissa wanting Teresa to pull Gia out of her gymnastic competition is truly disgraceful.  For some of us who have children know damn well if a child misses one event for some sport organizations, they are expelled or it can make the whole team disqualified for competitions.

We USED to be best friends.. until we each got married!

Onto the venue and the bitch fest begins! Melissa claims she throws better parties than Teresa.  Teresa is comparing the number of guests at a Christening as a competition.  Both of these women are so much alike that they can’t stand each other.  Is it like looking in a mirror?  Who really digs on such inconsequential points?  Do they actually hear themselves when they speak?

Angry Joe offers Juicy Joe a shot to welcome him and Juicy Joe claims he “didn’t eat nuttin yet” and refused.  I had no idea refusing a shot of alcohol can be interpreted as being an asshole and disrespectful per Melissa and her husband.  Anyone?

OMG! I just served chili to a room of 15!

Back at the Manzo’s, there are burnt biscuits with the southern meal.   This is not going well.   This meal seems so dismal compared to what’s going on at the Christening.

Back to the Christening and Joe is holding court with family, talking about Teresa.   He feels excluded in her immediate family events and he has serious issues with Juicy Joe that they no longer eat Nutella together.

Gia arrives and is welcomed by Joey who is Gia’s godfather and he truly seems to love her regardless of her selfish needs to attend a sporting event that she is committed too.

Back to the Manzo’s.. it’s still boring… blah blah..  The Manzo’s seem really boring since Danielle is gone.  They have nothing interesting to talk about anymore and no longer need to plan how to avoid Danielle while calling her up to have meetings with her to tell her to stay away.   I never understood that.  I wonder how they will fare this season.  They are going to be so upstaged by this new drama.  We learn Chris is leaving the Brownstone and pursuing his dreams and I am wondering if he is going to open up that car wash/strip joint.  The kid is an idea man!

Joey is now working him self up by making an issue of Teresa taking the baby to dance with Juicy Joe and I can’t believe how dramatical these people are.  The whole table is contributing to working up Angry Joe and I can’t understand how they can make mountains out of mole hills.    Did they just flash the name for Melissa’s brother in law as “Joey”?  Joey is the new Smith.

ARE YOU SERIOUS!?!? GAHBIJ??

In great timing, this is when Teresa announces she is going over to talk to her ‘family’.  No Teresa!!  This is not a good time!!  Well Teresa didn’t hear me and she proceeds to try to break the ice with Melissa and Angry Joe and guess what?  Oh I forgot.. you all seen it too?  Angry Joe proceeds to immediately dismiss his sister and she wants an explanation.  Gia must have seen this before because she immediately comes to gently move her mother away from the scene while she looks totally heart-broken.  Joey is seething from roosting all day that he doesn’t even see his niece standing right in front of him while he behaves badly.  Teresa starts to walk away and he calls her the infamous word, ‘gabij’.  Melissa’s sister then jumps in on the action and wants to throw in her 2 cents.  Melissa tries to quiet them all and Teresa’s mother appears to draw Teresa away while Juicy Joe is looking on and you can see the steam burst out of his ears folks..  Then out of left field, here come Juicy Joe to defend his wife’s honor and charged like a bull in a china shop to Angry Joe and the crazy begins.

Poor dude in blue shirt preventing a fight ended up on floor in fight..

Now I can certainly understand Juicy Joe being upset, but to charge over to kick someone’s ass at a ‘religious’ celebration where he could have just left would have been a wiser choice with all the women and children in attendance.  Not to mention in the presence of the tall cross ice sculptor.  This reeks of  sacrilege for so many reasons.

LADIES!! Flank the Juicy! Close Ranks!

I have never seen so many women come out to keep the peace by wrapping their arms and bodies around the intended victims ensuring their safety by thinking no one is going to hit a women!  This is an amazing technique that I have never seen before!

Even the camera man gets knocked down to the ground!  The taunting by Angry Joe and now the spectators take this to a whole nother level!  Man I wish I was there.

Now two other male guests are scraping it out on the ground and women are screaming at full tilt!  I can’t see who is who because I am pretty sure the camera men where lucky enough to get the few angles that they did!  WHY WAS THERE NO WWHL AFTER THIS EPISODE!!  DAMN YOU ANDY COHEN!!!

**Update** – Per some very astute readers.. the scrape with the blue shirted man on the ground, you can hear a woman’s shrill “Get the gun!!”  Get the gun!!!!”  What the hell!?!?!?  You can’t carry a disclosed gun in Jersey!!!!

The best line of the night was the dude standing on the chair, with the blurred out face screaming..

“IT’S A KIDS CHRISTENING!  SHUT THE BLEEP UP AND STOP IT NOW!   WALK THE BLEEP OUT!  IT’S A KIDS CHRISTENING!!!!!!

The voice of reason has emerged like baby Jesus.   Well it was a religious event ya know!

Godfather’s of Bad Behavior

We hear from Melissa that her husband feels Juicy Joe has ruined the relationship between Angry Joe and his father.  Well somehow I don’t think the relationship with either Joes are not going to sit well with the ailing old man now.  Angry Joey should have used another time or place to address his issues with his sister and Juicy Joe should have never of started a physical fight at his nephews Christening Celebration dinner.   Why do I have to spell this out? 

People are now becoming hysterical and pretty soon I think someone will be sacrificed at the melting ice sculptor to wash away the sins that alcohol and petty issues induced.

Teresa grabs her crying children while looking for her mother and is concerned for her father’s health.  Angry Joey is still angry and now is holding court with his dudes and unable to calm down for the sake of the guests, children and parents.

It has been decided to get Angry Joey more tanked to calm down.  I think a cup of camomile tea would be a better substitute to relax then more alcohol.  Maybe a xanax?

YOU NEVER TAUGHT ME TO FLIP TABLES!!! I COULDA BEEN A STAR!!!

We have to endure more of Angry Joey truly take this drama to another level as he rails on his parents while his father is trying to catch his breath and telling his mother how cold she is.  The polite thing to do would be to give her your jacket.   My head is spinning and can’t imagine what was Sunday dinners like in their home.  We did learn that is where Teresa obtained the table flipping technique.  The level of drama here takes the cake for any episode of any Real Housewives franchise to date.

How funny that at the end of the episode, this one horse trick carnival, showed the guests departing the building and climbing into their expensive cars and tipping valets.  One thing comes to mind…

“Money Can’t Buy You Class!!!!!”

blogger image

Jay Mohr – Blog Recap!

Empty Nests and Raging Bulls

Jay Mohr offers a comedian’s take on Episode 1.

 

If you want to Relive The Family Brawl, I have included the 7.4 minute video for your viewing pleasure.  I AIM TO PLEASE!

Vodpod videos no longer available.

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51 Responses to “Real Housewives Of New Jersey Recap – Blood is Not Thickah Than Wahda!”

  1. KurlyHairedB said

    What about angry Joe shoving his wife out of the way. Alcohol does strange things to some people and they should not be drinking if they can’t handle it. To me angry Joe just seemed like an angry teenage boy who got drunk for the first time and got full of liquid courage. Screaming like a banshee at his mother and father? That was totally uncalled for.

  2. KurlyHairedB said

    lol, its at the very beginning of the brawl, when it was just the 2 Joes being held apart, Melissa goes walking by and her husband pushes her out of the way. She almost fell over.

  3. Dalai Mama said

    I must temporarily emerge from my cave high in the Himalayas to ask if anyone else noticed a sudden frenzy of screaming in the midst of the brawl when a woman appears to be shrieking ‘get the gun – take the gun ‘ and a clutch of thick-necks converge on a man and tackle him.
    Not that there’s anything wrong with pulling a gun out at a christening. I’m just seeking a little clarity, here.

    Also, my vote for Teresa Joe and Melissa Joe names are Bowling Ball and Barney Rubble.

  4. KurlyHairedB said

    I heard that too Dalai, though being from Virginia, I didn’t think too much of it. Its like Texas here, lots of people carry. We have guns in our house, properly stored of course, and the boys know about gun safety and have often gone hunting with their dad. They don’t hunt for sport, we eat the deer meat. Though I wouldn’t imagine bringing one to a christening. Even we wouldn’t go that far.

  5. Dalai Mama said

    Glad you heard it to, KHB. It is not a stretch to imagine one of the guests, having enjoyed plenty of alcohol and finding an overabundance of testosterone coursing through his veins, producing the gun to wave it around in an attempt to shock the crowd into dispersing. I can also imagine it accidentally going off and hitting someone. Welcome to God’s Kingdom indeed.
    Hunting for a good venison steak – okay by me. Packing heat to a christening…not so okay.
    And certainly very poor manners.

  6. Mrs. Hugh Jackman said

    @4 Dalai Mama….Hi! I don’t think I heard that about the gun w/ all the screaming. I was so worried about the kids the whole time. Now I have to watch again…if I can. I’m still smh at that whole christening party. I’ve NEVER seen anything like it. I’ve never seen so many red faces w/ veins bulging either. Teresa & her brother Joe have the same volatile tempers. What is it with them and tables…flipping & pounding? SCARY. I also think Teresa & Melissa are alike in many ways…have the same manner of speaking (airheads)…and are very competitive with each other. Now I just want to know if Joe & Melissa are as crooked as Joe & Teresa. Hmmmm. Wonder if they’ll end up filing bankruptcy in the near future.

    Something bothered me about Jac’s & Ashley’s exchange more than usual, & for the first time I saw things in bit of a different light. I have always thought Ashley was very rude & hateful to Jac. Just a super spoiled girl. Chris always seemed to try hard at setting her straight, & let her know that she was the child…and he was the parent along w/ Jac. He never would take any bologna from her. Good for Chris. I always thought Jac tried hard to be a good parent by doing what she thought was best to help, even though I thought she let Ashley walk all over her constantly. I thought Jac tried…just wrong gameplan. However, I felt like Jac kept going on & on & ON with Ashley. That girl needs to hear less from her mother. Jac needs to stop talking so much every 5 seconds, and let Ashley find out on her OWN just how tough life can be. Jac goes on & on & ON, BUT then she seems to cave in to Ashley’s non-stop complaining about how bad off she is. Woe is me. Oh, I have to commute. Oh, I need a car. Oh, I need more money. Oh, I need you to brush my teeth and cut up my meat. I don’t think Chris should have cut off what Jac was trying to say, but I think he has tried hard to get his paragraph on common sense to Ashley. I think Jac AND Chris need to just stop talking, and speak with actions. They have to stop the spoiling because Ashley will never know how to grow up and become an independent adult. No, not when she has mommy & daddy to fall back on. (Do Teresa’s parents still give her & Joe money each month to help them out?)

  7. Dalai Mama said

    Hi MHJ – I agree about Jacqueline. She tries to parent, then her competitiveness with Ashley jumps in, then she gives up altogether.

    I’m also struck by the fact that post-bankruptcy, Teresa apparently felt justified in hiring a make up person and a hair person to come to her house and get her ready for a party. I’m not sensing any fundamental shift in her willingness to spend money on ridiculously frivolous and inappropriately lavish places.

    Very difficult to feel compassion for any of them.
    Full disclosure – I’m not really trying…

  8. KurlyHairedB said

    Have any of you read Jay Mohr recap on bravo.com? It is hilarious. He compared Kathy to that woman from the Wizard of Oz on her bike. I was laughing so hard that I was crying.

  9. Mrs. Hugh Jackman said

    @8 Dalai Mama….I admit I don’t understand a lot about bankruptcy. Thank goodness. LOL. My husband & I have ALWAYS lived within our means. I always lived within my means before I met my husband as well…that save for a rainy day philosophy. I know a Mercedes 4×4 is cheaper than say a Range Rover, but still…..come on. When I saw Teresa drive away, from that “Chateau” of hers in that Mercedes 4×4 I couldn’t stop smh. Of course, her hair and makeup have to be done by a professional. Yes, she’s really cutting back. It also looked like she had been hitting the tanning salon, too. I’m glad to see she has been making sacrifices. I know she had to spend some money on her dress, and her daughter’s dresses/hair accessories to the christening party.

    I never thought Jac could be, or set out to be, competitive with Ashley, but now that you mention it I’m very curious on your full take. WOW! That is a very sad thought. It seems like Jac is knocking Ashley down in a way. Did Ashley say that she felt stupid after her mother went on & on? I think Jac suffers from low self-esteem. That, and she’s not always the brightest bulb…trying to follow what Caroline/Dina/Teresa/anyone really wants her to do and not always doing what she wants to do. I really think Ashley, going by her behavior/actions, suffers from a lot of low self-esteem. It seems like if she was more sure of herself, she would set out on her own. Jac may profess she wants Ashley to get out, but she is holding her back really. I think Jac has sent Ashley double messages at times, & this seems to be another case.

    Hysterical your last line & I agree…It’s very difficult for me to feel compassion for these “adults”.

  10. Dalai Mama said

    I’ve been avoiding the Bravo blogs ever since realizing they pick and choose which reader comments to post. It sort of takes the fun out of it to think a everything that appears on a site has to first be officially sanctioned or it’s deleted. Like the Hays Commission, or something. But I will check Mohr out.

  11. KurlyHairedB said

    Whoever usually checks the bravo blogs must had the day off. there was an awful lot of negative comments on Melissa blogs about her behavior, when I was reading them earlier, she already had like 80 comments and only about half were supportive of her.

  12. Mrs. Hugh Jackman said

    IJS, great job as usual on recap! Can’t stop laughing. Just wanted to say how much I’ve missed you & TK. 🙂 Hey, now I know where my grandmother’s lost lace tablecloth is. LMAO! Love the books for Caroline and Ashley. Perfect!

    Have to go run errands. Have a great day everyone! 🙂

  13. Mrs. Hugh Jackman said

    Real quick, just how tall is Ashley? I have an aunt who is 6’2″ married to my 6’5″ uncle. I also have a dear friend who is 6’2″ married to a 6’8″ man. (Yes, there girls are TALL…all over 6’3″.) Ashley wears heels, but she TOWERS over everyone it seems. Also, is that a scar on the back of Ashley’s (birth) dad’s head? That looked like one huge scar. I wonder if he was in some kind of accident…automobile…a fight perhaps. Maybe it was a surgical scar. Just curious if anyone knows.

    Sorry if this was mentioned, but does Ashley’s boss that she interns for have a criminal past? For some reason her name rings a bell, & she said something about getting herself out of trouble, etc.

  14. Mrs. Hugh Jackman said

    @15 Meant “their”. Sorry for sp errors. Where’s my coffee?!

  15. LWoo said

    OMG. OMG. OMG. I couldn’t wait until they STOPPED filming the Manzos! They were so boring!

    I’ve come to the conclusion that I don’t like Melissa too much. That’s your husband’s sister. Stop trying to compete with her. I think she purposely feeds venom in her husband’s ear about Teresa because she knows they were REALLY close once. Angry Joe? OMG. I have no words. Drama King, maybe? Okay, so that’s two words, but you get my point. He didn’t have to talk to his sister that way; you see that it completely took Teresa off guard. She didn’t come over there and congratulate them in the same tone that she said ‘hi’ to Danielle. You can tell she was sincere and really wanted to talk to her family.

    And when the lady took the baby from Teresa and Juicy! RUDE! But that’s what happens when people talk shit about you behind your back. (I know from experience)

    I don’t like anyone who makes me side with Teresa & Juicy, frankly, but Melissa went over-the-top with her bullshit. And her hubby ain’t any better!

  16. Mary Jane said

    @Mrs Hugh Jackman. Yes! Ashley’s boss drunkenly drove her van into a crowd outside a Hampton’s club while calling them “white trash”. She got a slap on the wrist because she’s from some hotshot family or something. I did a double take when I saw her walk into the room. Can’t believe anyone is giving this dried up hag any publicity, leave it to Bravo.

  17. BobLHead said

    What a family! Geez. I have no words.

  18. Dalai Mama said

    Hi TK – sure thing! Let me know how to transmit to you my main e-mail (and the only one I actually have a prayer of seeing)

  19. @tweatcyn said

    Ashley’s boss. Lizzie.Grubbman drove her car into a group of night clubbers. I think Paris Hilton was with her. Also, Jay Mohr’s Bravo Blog is a MUST read!

  20. Mrs. Hugh Jackman said

    @18 MaryJane & @21 Tweatcyn… Hi! WOW! Thanks for info. Now I know why it rang a bell. Bravo seems to search for the worst of the worst. A great role model for Ashley.

    It looks like Paris has a new show. Please help me!

    Why did Caroline get onto Jac that she needs to be tough w/ Ashley, cut the apron strings; however, she’s not the best at following her own advice?! It’s not like any of her children have moved 3,000 miles away.

    @17 LWoo….Hi sweetie! If I hear Caroline go on one more time about her (grown) kids…I’ll have to hit mute or shoot myself. Can’t take hearing it one more time. Also, I didn’t care for Chris’s “imitation” of Cajuns. Some may find it funny, Cajuns themselves, but I found it offensive. Normally, I have liked Chris just fine. Seems nice enough & works hard for his dad’s Brownstone. I was never into his stripper/car wash idea, but…..to each his own I guess. However, I thought it was immature how he & Caroline were going on & on. I wonder how they’d feel if they were watching a Louisiana HW show with 2 Cajuns talking that way…jibberish…and saying that’s how NJ folks speak. (Although after hearing Teresa and Melissa speak…there’s a case of incorrect English usage all the time.) I’m sure there were Cajuns laughing at his imitation & Caroline acting like southerners are clueless in the kitchen about Italian food…but I know some Cajuns…in fact one good friend who is a lawyer and she would not be thrilled. Her family wouldn’t be either. JMHO.

    Personally, I think Teresa & Joe are still NUTS and not the brightest bulbs. I don’t care for either one. I also think Melissa & Joe are NUTS and not the brightest. I wonder if they’re in financial trouble & have a checkered/crooked past, too. I’ll give some…a rare few…a pass because I don’t know them well enough. I need to rewatch to make sure I heard everything said. It was difficult to hear over all the shouting. If that’s the way they act at a baby’s christening party, I’d hate/dread to see them at a funeral. I’ve heard a few crazy funeral stories in my time, but I bet that bunch could wake up the deceased with all that yelling. I felt like I was watching a very dark comedy the whole time. Is this for real?!?! No class whatsoever.

  21. G-sus said

    @ 12 KHB My guess is that since Melissa is new, she hasn’t had the opportunity for it to be in her contract to have comments spun positively for her. I have no doubt that all the seasoned HW have that clause somewhere in their contract.

    What makes me laugh about the bravo comment section, is that while most will never have their comments posted, have you noticed the ones that are able to comment about agreeing with the comment right before them? How does that happen since they have to be run through Bravo before they are posted? That whole comment section is a joke.

  22. G-sus said

    I’m also having a psychic G-sus moment and gonna predict a Lizzie Grubman spin-off by Bravo ala MTV’s The City.

  23. Dalai Mama said

    Oh G-sus, I hope you are wrong. If necessary, can’t they just give us Kelly Cutrone back?

  24. G-sus said

    I agree Dalai, I love Kelly Cutrone and all her darkness, lol. But something is fishy about no-job, no-talent Ashley getting a job with Lizzie Grubman. Unless Lizzie just hired her for her own PR.

  25. Mrs. Hugh Jackman said

    @23 G-sus….Hi! I noticed the same thing, esp after I tried to get my posts posted there a long time ago. LOL, what a crock.

    G-sus, I believe in your psychic abilities, and I’m afraid you’re right. Heaven help us, but Bravo will do anything for ratings.

  26. G-sus said

    @ MHJ I think that may be a show that I will take a pass on if it happens. Lizzie looks like she would benefit from a daily MVI and a big mac.

  27. Mrs. Hugh Jackman said

    @28 G-sus…”MVI and a big mac”…LMAO!

  28. Brooklynite said

    BRAVA Imajustsaying! That was one hell of a terrific recap. I feel as if you and I were a guest there! LOL I think everyone was out of control that day. Melissa and Mighty Joe Young or Lil Joe, were really upset after years of being ignored by TMAN that she would come over to play nice in front of the cameras. They were never shown in 2 seasons, meanwhile the Manzo Mob filmed with their parents, siblings, neighbors and pets! Even Grandma Wrinkles had more facetime than Melissa, Lil Joe and their kids.

    Everytime someone tried to calm the situation, someone else amped it up. Gia tried pulling TMAN as Melissa tried to calm Lil Joe, while Mel’s sister amped it up. Lil Joe tried to calm Mel’s sister, while TMAN kept arguing and amping it up. Then Lil Joe bangs the table like “ENUFF!” and that’s when Juicey Joe comes charging and it turns into chaos. Whew! As a party guest said “Son Animales!”

    Sorry ass Carolinebacker continues the empty nest syndrome 2 years running. What pray tell while Kitopher be doing with his sense of humor is beyond me. Maybe jibberish jibberish “unemployment” jibberish! 😛
    Ashley wanting to move in to the city to avoid commuting is absolutley insane. I’ve been commuting since junior/middle school. Studying then working in Manhattan since age 14. EVERYONE commutes! NJTransit, LIRR Ferries and other forms of transport are there for a reason whore! Notice how LizzieGrubbie said Ashley was her without the violence. I thought Ashley was LizzieGrubbie without the attempted manslaughter charge! LOL

    Once again thanks for the recap and like that dirty filty cheater Arnold the Maid Banger, says “I’ll be back!”. 🙂

    • Brooklynite!! Thanks for the Kadooooze!! Welcome to the blog!

      Everyone else.. thanks for the praise! This one took me hours to write and more hours to get all the pictures..

      And a special KADOOOZE to http://mickeymouth1.wordpress.com/ for her chopped up pictures!! Her posting of her new work was in great timing with my posting! She is one talented lady!

      Welcome all new commenters!

  29. Mrs. Hugh Jackman said

    @ Brooklynite…Hi! I agree…and you’re hysterical. Thanks for the non-stop laughs!

  30. Sparky said

    I laughed so much while reading this recap. This is your best recap ever! Bravo! Bravo!

    • Hey Sparky!! Thanks so much!! I feel so much better now with all the effort I put into it! Welcome to commenting here Sparky!! Hope all is well with you and the madness out there! 😉

  31. Sparky said

    I have so much going on in RL a Twitter dispute is not a priority. You know the old saying…what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!

    • You go Sparky! Its all nonsense to me. The wrath that even comes here to acuse of me of such fodder cracks me up. I see the same comments on other blogs acusing them of the same. They are taking pot shots in the dark! lol

  32. Str8Gal said

    Hilarious! Didn’t know you blogged! Will return again!!

  33. BelaOne said

    Fantastic recap!!!! It captured the episode to a T and as very funny. One of the best recaps out there. Kudos to the writer…Love the writing style.

  34. Humbruh said

    Awesome as usual, IJS!

  35. Screaming Man on Chair said

    THANKS!!!
    I enjoyed what you wrote about me here. I am the “dude who was screaming on the chair”. I did not want to be shown since I did not want people to seem me doing such. However, the danger to little kids became too great. What Bravo does not let you see is that after I did such, all fighting stopped. My family has never seem me yell or use profanity in my life, let alone get angry like that. Thanks again for your kind words… I was honesly shocked the everyone on the net had positive things to say about what I did. Your comment made this guy smile…again… thank you!

    • Screaming man on chair – Hello and welcome to the blog! Thanks for posting I really appreciate it. If you have any other dirt I would be so glad to hear it. There is a contact button at the top of page on left if you want to help me write a post of inside deets! Or if you want you can post in comments.

      That scene was really off the hook! Well thank goodness someone stepped up to shut them up! I have to ask a question, did I hear correctly that someone woman screamed “Get The Gun!”? Do you have any opinions on how this all went down? I gotta ask!

      Again, hope to see you commenting more on the recaps. Thanks

      P.S. There is no grammer or spelling police here and if there was, I would be the first to be kicked off! 😉

  36. Seem= seen
    Honesly= honestly
    sorry for the typos(smile)

  37. Thug in a cocktail dress said

    @43/44 man screaming on chair u did the right thing! omg i was repulsed that the adults didn’t take the children’s reactions into consideration!! Thankfully u cared enough to do what u did! and i respect u more for not wanting ur face to be shown. shows ur not trying to get ur 15min of fame! Thank u for coming on here to give us your take of what happened on that awful night! It is great to meet the voice of reason!!!

  38. Thug in a cocktail dress said

    @ImaJustSaying this recap is..epic!!! I am literally, literally, dying over here!!! ROFL and tears r streaming down my face i am LOL so hard my tummy hurts!! Thank U Jesus for giving Ima the talent and humor to write these blogs! ur pics with ur funny captions..priceless!! LOL ..Melissa with grandma’s lace tablecloth..and the look of bankruptcy!! LOL!! and of course pizza doughboy!! LOL!! Love, love, love!! keep it up!!! and thank u!!

    • Thug in a cocktail dress – Well I am so glad you had a good chuckle for the knuckle heads. I loved viewing 90 minutes of WTF but recapping it took forever. Have to watch the show twice and the pains to make the photo’s (minus MickyMouths work) is truly inspired thou. So glad to have you part of the blog. Welcome to your long lost home. 😉

  39. Mrs. Hugh Jackman said

    @43 Screaming Man On Chair…Hi! I had mentioned it before that I was thankful an adult had stepped in to try and stop the madness. I’m so glad you did that. It was great! I know what you mean about yelling or profanity because I don’t do that either. HOWEVER, one time a “lady” got into my face & 3 of my friends when I was young. She was being so rude to me & my friends while we were trying to eat lunch. She wouldn’t stop. I found myself raising my voice, and apparently I said a few cuss words to get her to stop. I don’t even remember using the cuss words. Guess I was so caught up in the moment. She left us alone, and my girlfriends were getting a kick…they were in shock…because they had NEVER heard me say a cuss word. Well, that day they heard 3 from me. LOL. Again, that was the right thing to do because someone with a strong voice had to speak up. Enough is enough.

  40. Thug in a cocktail dress said

    @IMA..thank u 🙂 there’s no place like home!!! 🙂

  41. Thug in a cocktail dress said

    oops typo IMA meant to say IMaJustSayin

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