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[What Would Bethenny Say?] Cindy “Beaver Barbershop’s” Bravo Blog

Posted by tvtwaddle on May 7, 2011


  Gilligan’s Island aka Governors Island:

This is going to age me, but I think it puts everything in to perspective. Picture this:Thurston Howell throws a birthday party for his beautiful wife Mrs. Lovey Howell, while stranded on an extremely cold and windy island with nothing other than picnic tables and champagne.

Gilligan's Island

  [WWBS?: LOVEEEEEY, Where are those hoBags? Didn’t you tell them the invite was for 12 Noon? How rude!] Oh and then Mary Ann and Ginger stop by. . . Yes! You guessed it! We are in the new spin-off of Gilligan’s Island. I’m Mary Ann and you can obviously guess the rest of the characters.

Cindy/Mary Ann

 

Kelly/ Ginger

To clear everything up I think it was wonderful what Thurston, I mean Simon, did for Alex, but it’s sometimes hard for me to get out my own house in Manhattan. And now I had to trek with the girls to an unstable weather island. [WWBS?: Oh you poor thing, 8 minutes away. Are you kidding me? You wanted to drag everyone to f’ng Quogue for God’s sake!]

Thurston's Big Surprise for Luvey

It was freezing and super windy with no shelter, and champagne was toppling everywhere. I really don’t see why we all had to leave Manhattan when we all live there so . . .I escaped earlier than the rest. [WWBS?: Nobody made you go Kelly Cindy. I’m sure you’d have had a different experience if you didn’t arrive 4 hours late then snub your nose at it all]

Kelly Killoren Bensimon– Mom/Friend of The Year: Next, I don’t think everyone really understands how upset I was and how helpful and understanding Kelly has been (SHE IS THE BEST MOM EVER!) [WWBS?: Maybe when she’s actually present and not out gallavanting all over town to be “seen” at parties. Kelly’s kids are soon going to be older than Kelly’s emotional age. Then what happens? They already have to cook (chef?) for themselves.] I had a little meltdown at dinner over my nanny taking advantage of me. I know, I know — I come off like a confident woman, but outside of the office and in my personal life I’ll admit it. . .I am a push. . .push. . .PUSHOVER! [WWBS?: Um, Confident? Well, if you mean stuttering, slackjaw, blubbering idiot with poor communication skills, then, yeah]. Yes I said it! Kelly was able to console me and give me advice when my then-nanny essentially made her own hours and came and went as she pleased. [WWBS?: She’s not an indentured servant you moron. God forbid you have to tend to your own children at night and lose some sleep]. If you are mom, you’ll totally understand. . .you want nothing other than to make your children as happy as possible, and sometimes all the time you put yourself on the back burner and jeopardize your own happiness. Having my girls love who they are with puts a huge smile of my face and after all, these women are my family. They help me take care of the two most important things in my life, Jesse and Zoe. You have to make sure that everyone in the situation is happy, including YOURSELF!

Back to Business: I had LuAnn, Sonja, and Kelly come to a girl’s private spa day at one of my Beaver Barbershop locations where they were able to remove some unwanted hair. It was actually quite comical to see LuAnn get all proper on us speaking about hair removal! I created Beaver Barbershops so that women and men have a place to feel comfortable speaking about hair removal. Now I have my website to act as a PUBIC forum. . .so ask away! Ask any personal questions that you may have about hair growing in weird places – it’s NATURAL! [WWBS?: No, natural is a Dianna Ross Fro, not a 50 year old woman having the vag of an 8 year old girl, unless you’re trying to attract a pedaphile]

Option #1: The Telly SavalasOption #2: The Brazilian (Fernanda Rocha)

Sooo. . . for the next Andy Cohen poll. . .Who wants to see LuAnn get VAJEWELED?! [WWBS?: Grab your balls LuMann! Can men get Vajeweled? Who KNEW?]
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6 Responses to “[What Would Bethenny Say?] Cindy “Beaver Barbershop’s” Bravo Blog”

  1. I FLOVE THIS!!! LMAOOO!!!!! the shnark is weighed properly with the right disdain!! FLOVE YOU CYN!!

  2. B + Your Shnarkyness = U nailed B’s response. Pure, Balls to the waxy wall!! For starters, The Vajazzling woman has lots to learn about KKB, and not just where Jelly Bean Queen wants her landing strip..

  3. DomesticGoddess said

    Ms Beavers will be embarrassed in Pubic Big hOle time,
    When unicorn & Rainbow vajewling requests start “Spreading”. HAH!!

  4. Grace said

    Everybody wanted to be MaryAnn, but I had a major crush on the professor. Is he still alive?

  5. @Tweatcyn said

    Grace, I was crushing on la Professor also. I still like the nerds.

  6. I want to be Ginger

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