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What Would Bethenny Say?

Posted by tvtwaddle on April 10, 2011


Susan Saunder’s (aka Jill Zarin) Bravo Blog [WHAT WOULD BETHENNY SAY?]

Let the Games Begin

Susan/Jill responds to Ramona’schoice of wedding wear, and her tiff with Alex.

Hi everyone!!! [WWBS? HIIIIIIEEEEY. Like a Horn.]

Coming into this season I can honestly say, I have never been so invigorated, refreshed, and excited to begin filming. I was also looking forward to seeing all of the girls and meeting our newest housewife, Cindy Barshop. I had spent the summer redefining my life and focusing on the things most important to me: my family and friends. [WWBS? Holy sh*tballs, my ears are bleeding. Don’t you mean JEWELRY and PUBLICITY?] I bunkered down in the Hamptons, did pilates three times a week, took walks on the beach, played with my grandchildren, hosted visiting friends and family and rested. I also remember a stunning day in the Hamptons when my sister Lisa and I spent the morning walking on the beach talking about our lives past, present, and future. We both collected a rock that day to remember it forever.

It was times like that, that made me put things in perspective. I always say that you can have everything you want, but not always at the same time. [WWBS? That really grinds me. YOU always say that? Quit stealing my lines you dumb drag queen. That’s rule number 2 in my NY Times Bestseller, Naturally Thin “You can have it all — just not all at once”] Allyson was leaving for her freshman year of college and I needed to figure out “What I am supposed to do now?” I decided to come back to the show for many reasons. Bobby, my parents and sister were adamant that I come back for so many reasons, but my final decision was made by all of you, my fans. You helped me in more ways than I can ever write in a blog. [WWBS? ‘Cuz you forgot your notes?]You know who you are when I say that without you, I would never have come back to the show. [WWBS? You mean your two rabbid troll fans in Aruba and Australia known as the Ginger-ettes,?]You wrote me, sent me letters and gifts, [WWBS? If you talk about another THING I’m gonna take a f*&king skewer and shove it in your eyeball] and showed up in droves when I had appearances or book signings in your town. You shared your most intimate thoughts and problems with me and as much as you thought I was giving you the advice, you were keeping me going and giving me the inner strength to forge forward. [WWBS? Get over yourself!]

Of course, it would be unrealistic to see the girls and pretend last season never happened. [WWBS? Cuz my good friends at IHJZ will never let you forget until you truly change, which you can’t, so, let the train wreck of season 4 begin] When I invited Kelly over to help me pack for Australia, the conversation about last season and the fight with B was very spontaneous.[WWBS? Premeditated using Kooka Doodle Doo’s PR101 to try and make you seem like the wronged party] I was wrong to think I could flow into the filming process of Housewives without any feelings coming out. Kelly was great that day [WWBS? Helping you rewrite history in that delusional way she’s perfected, which by the way, is rubbing off on you], and I really felt purged after we talked. [WWBS? Oh, my God. I’m gonna hurl. Are you crazy? Is Humpty Dumpty your new BFF? Ramona was right. You DO like the underdog. And which is it? Was this a TV friendship like you’ve been telling the press every chance you can, or was it real (like you’ve said until your Jillousy in season 3 backlashed on you), and you’re all broken up about causing the end of our friendship. You can’t change your story to suit your interview. Own it!] I can’t make people just disappear from my history.  

My history makes me who I am today, good and bad, and as much as I would like to erase things in my past and never talk about them again. . .sometimes you just can’t. [WWBS? And yet, YOU keep talking about ME in the press, and badmouthing ME, while I have gone out of my way to not discuss you in the press or at any of my sold out book tours for my THREE NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLING BOOKS] BTW, I also over packed!

Meeting Cindy was a fabulous surprise. She is an incredible girl who I adore, admire, and respect. You are going to love her this season and trust me, she is not going to sit back as the new girl! Cindy is full of spunk and energy. Her party was lots of fun. I loved the foot painting as well. I took the paint on my feet all the way to Australia!

The last thing I’ll say about this episode: the little bicker I had with Alex at the wedding is not a precursor for how this season will go for us. [WWBS? Because you’re going to continue to minimize and dismiss her feelings and Alex will give in for the sake of peace, not because you gave her a genuine heartfelt apology and changed your ways] Many surprising things will happen. We fought hard and laughed harder. This is going to be the best season yet so buckle up. Episode 1 barely scratched the surface. Wait until next week! [WWBS? Halleluyah! It’s going to be a full on lady’s coffee clutch]

 

WWHL comment: Tonight Ramona said that if I Google wearing white to a wedding I will see that everyone says it is fine. . .and anyway. . .she wore OFF WHITE. Well I did and this is what I found: Brides.com responded to a question from a reader concerning her fiancé’s mother wanting to wear white to the wedding and the bride being against this. According to the website, the bride wins: “white, which traditionally has symbolized youth and purity, is worn only by the bride. That goes for ivory, cream, off-white, linen and all other pale variations.”

The Knot agreed that white shouldn’t be worn by any woman other than the bride: “Female guests should not wear white—it’s really, really not polite to take away from the bride on her special day by wearing her color. Try to avoid off-white and ivory, too, if at all possible. It’s not as if you don’t own or can’t buy something another color, right?” [WWBS? What does The Knot say about dropping the F-Bomb at the reception? ]

Please follow me on Twitter @susansaunders and Facebook [WWBS? But if you follow Alex, Simon, Ramona, or LynnNChicago or ever say anything negative about her, you will be immediately blocked]. If you want to read my extended blog [WWBS? Where you bash Alex and Ramona, demonstrating you are incapable of being nice when the cameras aren’t rolling] and extra behind the scenes gossip, photos and opinions on everything from my favorite NYC restaurants to what I was wearing on WWHL [WWBS? Madonna called and she wants her outfit back] and where you can buy it, sign up for my exclusive newsletter at susansaunders.com or just stop by and leave a comment. The best part of doing this show is connecting to all of YOU!

Let the games begin!

Love and Kisses XOXO

Jill ( Bobby and Ginger too!)[WWBS? Did you forget you have a daughter or was she only a TV daughter?]

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10 Responses to “What Would Bethenny Say?”

  1. Thank you lovely lady! fantastic review of holy chit!!

  2. Bryan said

    Leave Susan Saunders Alone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  3. Dy said

    @2 Bryan..lol

  4. @tweatcyn said

    Oh Bryan, I wrote this just to antagonize you (and Jill), LOL.

  5. I love this, Cyn. I think it should happen weekly. I was also thinking we should make up some of those WWJD with WWBD on them, but then I had a stroke of genius. A Chatty Cathy doll of Bethenny and when you pull the string on the back you get a Bethennyism.

  6. Bryan said

    Well Temple Beth Frankel is still an idiot, but good lord, I don’t know what the fuck got into Mrs Limon Zirga’s head to change her look and come on to TV dressed like something out of 1992, she looks ridiculous

  7. Bryan said

    Check out next week’s preview on Bravo, Temple Beth Frankel flips out because something happens with her thansgiving turkey and its not fully done, So, Julie the slave takes the blame and offers to commit seppuku. and Temple B is loosing it, good lord, its only a bird, this happens to everyone, you’ve got to laugh move on and do a quick defrost of chicken breasts and have a good meal with eveything else.

  8. Dy said

    @7 I saw it Bryan..Oy. Just when she has a good week of not losing it BAM, she’s off again..How is it Julie’s fault? I did’t get that.. Didn’t they notice the smell of the turkey not cooking? Oh well like you said defrost some chicken serve all the sides and call it a day.

  9. Bryan said

    @8 Dy, be happy your healthy your all together with friends and family and stop acting like a idiot!!!

  10. Dy said

    @9 Bryan

    She can’t help herself, it’s all about her. She can’t be Hoppy..

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