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Real Housewives of Orange County RECAP – No Hate

Posted by tinselkitty on April 4, 2011


 

BOOBIES! Well, I got what I wanted, see y’all next week.

Really, there was nothing else to say there so I practiced the art of succinctness. Boobies also seems to be a theme this week.

Peggy’s going for the triple boob crown and getting hers worked on again. It seems she’s seen a few episodes of RHoNY and is taking the necessary steps to keep from becoming the West Coast Kelly. We all know that Kelly just let hers run free and wild and look where that got her. Kelly Bensimon – a cautionary tale in so many ways. I do wonder if Micah would stick by his assessment of boobs = pizza therefore there are no bad boobs had he ever come face to face with those.

What’s with the uber defensiveness on Peggy’s part, though? Who’s giving Peggy shit for having fake boobs? I thought we were all on the same page with assuming anyone on that show had fake boobs, were we not? If anyone’s getting shit about her boobs, I would have said it was Gretchen, if only because she’s sans silicone. For realz, Peggy’s got to get the chip off her shoulder.

Because Princess G’s rocking her god-given set of tatas, she can get away with wearing a shirt with strategically placed oranges. Had Alexis worn that shirt it would have looked ridiculous, not that Jim would have let her wear it in the first place. Gretchen and Shawna are on a mission to lift a dress out of Gretchen’s mom’s closet. It’s good to see a return to the lighthearted, goofy Gretch. More of this, please.

I would love to know where Vicki heard to cook a medium steak for 17 minutes each side, with the lid down. Wowza. I am taking a new tack with Vicki this year. She is now my role model for embracing a more laid back life. Watching Vicki in the kitchen caused me to really understand the stress that comes along with wanting everything just so. If I don’t care about perfection, I am much less likely to be disappointed. Plus, I’ll have more energy to pour into the things that I really do want to be better. I will learn something from each season of Real Housewives, damnit!

Oh, yeah, the boobies theme. Uh, Vicki told Brianna to put hers back in her shirt. There, now she’s sticking to the theme.

Is anyone else’s television showing Tamra’s red dress on her intro shot as if it’s this glowing entity straight out of the ’80s? It almost hurts my eyes. ‘Tis okay, I know that since it’s Tamra and she’s a free bitch, I won’t have to worry about her being in clothes for long. Right on cue, there’s Tamra, shucking her clothes faster than Tinselkitty shucks the first ear of sweet corn in summer. And let me tell you, Tinselkitty FLOVES summer corn.

Didn’t Peggy already say her kids were signed with an agency? Yeah, she did. What the hell? I could give her the benefit of the doubt if I wanted to (and I don’t want to, see below for more details) and say that it was a timeline shuffle on the part of the Bravo editing team, but a quick check of the Brand website shows no sign of any Tanous child. Surely, if you are in the kid pimpin’ business and a couple of those kids are also on a pretty big reality show, said kids would be prominently displayed, right? Peggy’s chat with Linda about getting back into the biz must not have gone well, either, as she is also conspicuously absent.

I have to admit to some confusion on the ring thing with Gretchen. She’s taking a lot of heat online with people saying it was cheap for her to “regift” the diamonds from her first wedding band. The way I understood it was that Gretchen’s dad was going to buy a whole new ring and Gretchen threw her diamonds into the pot to make the ring he bought even bigger and blingier. Gretchen’s first hubs wasn’t rich, was he? Because that was a huge rock in the center of the new ring. I assumed the little diamonds around the edge were the ones she was talking about. If that’s the case, I thought it was a sweet move. Wedding rings hold a ton of sentimentality and I know of few women that ever have theirs reset, even if the breakup was bitter.

Smileypants almost had a heart attack when he saw it, didn’t he? He was probably doing some mental ring-to-child-support conversions in his head. I hope he was, anyway. That boy could do with a bigger dose of guilt.

Methinks Alexis is nicer to her car than Jim is to his, as evidenced by the fact that her car called the people she wanted to call and didn’t keep trying to call Don or Jim. I will say  that that family really does need a lesson in how seat belts work. Alexis says she doesn’t want to leave anyone out but she wasn’t going to invite Vicki until Tamra asked about it. Happily, Alexis does have the foresight to request that guns not be brought to her party.

I am having some concerns about Tamra’s health these days. When Eddie asks Tamra about Cabo she said “Cabo was fun, you know, just two girls hangin’ out” but I think what she meant to say was “Cabo was fun, you know, just Vicki telling me what to do in another country”. As y’all know, I do hold my W.D. (doctor of Woogle) and this advanced degree is telling me that Tamra might have had a stroke. This week we see Tamra having trouble speaking or understanding speech and last week she had trouble with walking, dizziness, loss of balance or coordination. Strokes are serious, people. This is a 911 situation, not a wait until the doctor’s office opens on Monday situation. Remember, as long as you have your health…

…you won’t miss all your wedding keepsakes your new beau has chucked or burned when your back was turned. Historically, one of the first things a new regime does when they overtake a new territory is to destroy anything that references the previous regime. There’s a word for it and everything. I promise, I’m not just making it up!

Iconoclasm – Revolutions and changes of regime, whether through uprising of the local population, foreign invasion or a combination of both, are often accompanied by the public destruction of statues and monuments identified with the previous regime. This may also be known as damnatio memoriae, the modern term used to describe the Ancient Roman practice of official obliteration of the memory of a specific individual. Stricter definitions of “iconoclasm” exclude both types of action, reserving the term for religious or more widely cultural destruction.

That’s right, Eddie, you’re being an iconclast. Not cool, dude. Give Tamra a damn minute to figure out which tchotchkes she wants to keep and don’t give her shit for it. Just because she’s sexing you up in the bathtub on the teevee doesn’t mean her history with Simon went poof. Be happy – at least you know she’ll probably keep your sex tape forever, too.

Sure, Alexis. You like to give. It’s not that I don’t believe your statement, there, it’s more that I don’t believe you paid for anything in conjunction with that party. Why is Tinselkitty so cynical, why why why? Because within 15 seconds we were treated to four shots of the CosmetiCare sign, heard Alexis name drop the doctor’s name and got a good lookysee at the CosmetiCare gift bags.

Tamra’s brought mace for herself and Vicki. Honestly, if I was Vicki I’d be pissed off that Tamra had so little faith in my bitchtasticness that she felt the need to bring back up. When has Vicki ever not brought it? For all of Vicki’s Vickiness, she is absolutely near the top of my list if I was going into a situation where I needed muscle.

I’m kind of feeling like Alexis was getting a kickback on every Housewife she talked into getting the botox.

Yes, Vicki, you work. We know. It’s not unreasonable to go to a party from 6-8pm. Those are not considered “work hours”. It’s unreasonable to expect everyone else to be working at that hour. Just because you love your job doesn’t mean everyone else lives it to the extreme you take it. Stop being pissed off that most people operate under the same schedule as most people. That’s how it got to be the most people schedule. It’s right there in the name. Most people. You are the outlier, not the norm.

Ah, the astrology aspect. I’ve been waiting for this since Alexis is letting me down on the Jesus thang. FYI – Jesus is NOT a fan of astrology. That would be one of them there dark arts. With only four episodes under her belt, I am prepared to lay down the Tinselkitty judgement hammer on Peggy and I hereby declare her to be a sneaky bitch. Yep, I said it. I’m even leaning towards super sneaky bitch but I don’t want to jump in without enough evidence.

I do have enough evidence to call sneaky bitchness, though, and it was tossed right at my feet with this botox party. Pegster made a beeline for Vicki. Had Alexis been in between them, I am positive that Peggy would have thrown her out of the way in her race to climb up Vicki’s ass. Where is her loyalty to Alexis? Even if Alexis was fully on board with the peace treaty, girl code would dictate that Peggy show some deference out of respect. Nope, Peggy is on a mission. A sneaky bitch mission.

Hell, Peggy sat there and told us she knew all about Vicki and how she’s been around the longest, she told Vicki she admires her for how strong a business woman she is and then she almost apologized to Vicki for knowing Alexis at all. Yeppers, Peggy went in with a mission.

Now I just need to figure out what Peggy’s problem with Gretchen is. Gretchen’s been nice to her thus far. Maybe it is just the Scorpio thing. Peggy gives an awful lot of credibility to judging folks based on their sign. Since Peggy was so quick to pick on Gretchen’s sign, I’m going to pause a moment and fill y’all in on Peggy’s sign.

They love challenges but can cause problems by rushing in to the situation. Arian’s have a tendency to learn the hard way when they learn. Patience is not an Arian strong suit.

If an Aries personality does not achieve what they think they should in career or anything they pursue, they can become physically or psychologically ill. At the very least, they are no longer fun to live with.

On the other side of the spectrum, they can be selfish and quick tempered. Most Arians show a selfish tendency at some point in their lives. If they are made aware of this fact and how it looks as children, then they can become aware of this propensity and correct it. Impulsive and impatient, they wait for no one. This person can be foolhardy added with a daredevil influence, which quickly leads them into trouble.

Passion at work and play extends over into their sexual lives. An Arian’s partner must be lively and able to react quickly to any given situation. Aries personalities love sex and will need it way past what others consider their prime.

Arians have quick wit and an interest that wanes just as quickly. They need constant change to keep them attention. Although they lose interest quickly, they cannot stand for another to out do them. Like the racehorse that will not let another pass it, they will adjust to the situation quickly and learn to become the best at what they are doing. They don’t like rules and like restrictions even less. Always looking for something bigger and better to invest their attention in gives the Arian his thrills.

Peggy’s doing her best to live up to her sign so far.

 

Oh, Tamra, you were so close. You were almost out the door without suffering an attack of blurtitis but then it got the better of you. If only you could have held it in until you got in the limo and had the doors closed. Gretchen hadn’t said bupkiss to you, she wasn’t drinking and she pretty much sat in the corner the whole time. Missed it by that much. She’ll hit the target next week, for sure, what with bringing a dildo to church. Clutch. The Pearls. I can tell you one thing. That is most definitely NOT Virgo behavior.

 

 

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9 Responses to “Real Housewives of Orange County RECAP – No Hate”

  1. […] the original post: Real Housewives of Orange County RECAP – No Hate « Tv Time 101 Stop Snoring | Affordable SEO […]

  2. Miss Figg said

    Ah yes, living with an Aries. Did it for many a year and as great as he was he was just as difficult. No patience. Oh well, his loss. Tamara may be a little happier overall this season but she’s certainly no less a bitch. She is making a big, HUGE mistake getting so serious with ol’Eddie boy. He’s another Simon, just younger and in different packaging. Controlling signs there? Check. Could Tamara have been any bitchier to Fernanda? Jeeze, just a simple phone call would have sufficed.
    The other women were all fine except for icky Vicki. She’s such a self important bitch. No one could love insurance that much to work every night until 1 am. She left that marriage and Donn a long time ago.

  3. Bryan said

    @@ Miss Figg, did her “Charo” crack come off a bit racial to anyone? is that just me?

  4. Miss Figg said

    @Bryan Yes, that was totally a put down. Equating Fernanda with an excitable Latina that gets all wound up about something, especially one known for being ditzy and not taken seriously. Tamara is still the bitch she’s always been, maybe just a bit happier, but quick to put down someone when she doesn’t want to be bothered. I’d like to see more of Fernanda on the show, it’s a nice break from all the bleached and friend blondes. She seems intelligent and it would be interesting to see her interact with the other women more. I don’t think it’s going to happen. Bravo took her off the opening sequence I think. (?)

  5. Miss Figg said

    *fried* blondes.

  6. Dy said

    I kinda like Fernada too, so far seems nice,and doesn’t get into the Drama..Well at least yet!!

    I think TamTam’s remark, though not necessary, wasn’t so terrible.( She apologizes in her Blog for Bravo) I have heard worse on these shows,and most of these woman never apologize for sticking their foot in their mouths, trying to be funny at the expense of someone eles.

  7. Dy said

    @6 * well at least not yet.

  8. BobLHead said

    I still find it hysterical that Jesus Barbie spends so much time/money changing the body that God gave her….freakin’ hypocrite!

  9. Oy Vey said

    @8 that bugs me too! Oh and she’s so proud of the body she “created”. Isn’t vanity one of the seven deadly sins?

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