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Real Housewives of Atlanta RECAP – The Bride and the Doom

Posted by tinselkitty on January 31, 2011


 

A small departure today as I have something very important to say and I really feel it needs to be above the jump so anyone with even the smallest connection to Bravo can see it easily.

I DO NOT WANT TO SEE NENE POPPING UP IN BEVERLY HILLS. IT IS NOT ZONED FOR BLOOP.

If ever there was a time to start a petition, this would be it.

So, Lawrence can sing, Kim can’t. Who was shocked to hear Nene point that out for us? No one? Not even way in the back? Okay, let’s move it right along, then.

Nene’s feeling good these days because she’s got all the drama out of her life. Kim was the last piece of the puzzle. That means, if I go back and check, Nene, I’m not going to find you involved in any drama between the time filming wrapped and now? Gosh, that just seems so hard to believe.

This season showed us a wonderful relationship with Lawrence and Sheree. According to her, they are indeed besties, although she did stop short of saying 4ever and ever. Anyway, because they are so close, there wasn’t any way Sheree was going to miss Lawrence’s show. Doing some basic math in the form of an if/then statement – if Sheree wasn’t going to miss Lawrence’s show because that’s her friend, then Sheree missed Lisa’s fashion show because ________.

Cynthia’s got two days to go till the wedding. It was cute to see her big wedding board behind her in the living room. Mallory and mom are there to help control the inevitable meltdown that is de riguer for brides. Cynthia is $3000 short for the liquor bill. Contrary to what she says later about the wedding license, this is actually the worst thing that can happen. Brides need booze. Guests need booze. Peter’s okay, as we will soon see, because he’s going to stock up beforehand. But everyone else really needs booze at a wedding. Or maybe that’s just me. And Kim.

Cynthia is considering a cash bar but Kithe is sooo not having it. I’m not sure what say he has in it, really, since he also doesn’t have $3000 for Cynthia to pay for the bar. When Mallory pipes in with the fact that she’s never seen Cynthia broke before, the warning bells that have been surrounding this union start clanging a little louder. This seems like a big deal, no? Cynthia’s managed her money well her entire life and now, not so much? Mallory has no doubts that Cynthia can make more money but she thinks Cynthia is taking on all of the burden. Then we hear the Cynthia utter some chilling words – she doesn’t think she can depend on Peter because whenever she does she falls on her face. First, a model really needs to be not falling on her face. Career suicide right there. Second, she’s been traipsing around all these years without falling on her face and now, not so much? This pattern is crystal clear and I can only hope it’s courtesy of Bravo’s crack editing team. I like Cynthia and I hope her marriage is everything she was wishing for.

Pops calls at an opportune moment and Mallory urges Cynthia to ask him for the money. Dad hems and haws and tells Cynthia this is just a bad month for money because he’s been spending left and right. What’s the old adage about women marrying their fathers?

Wow, Ayden's only four days old and he's huge!

Phaedra’s finally returning to work but we only know that because she tells us. Seriously, this woman is always finished to the nines. I’m starting to wonder if she rolls out of bed in the morning in full makeup and hair. Don’t you find yourself wondering if she even owns a pair of sweats? Phaedra’s come full circle from being tied down with this baby to crying because she’s having to leave him for the day. Ayden must have been squashing her heart instead of her bladder for those six months she was carrying him around. Now that he’s out she’s all full of love again.

Kim heads over the river and through the woods to Kandi’s studio. She’s been summoned to the principal’s office to get her scolding for getting one over on Kandi. Somehow Kim went around Kandi to speak directly to Focus and this just ain’t cool. I’m not really understanding what this conversation is about, but the take away is that Kandi feels like they are doing a bootleg business. You’d think with Kandi owning a clothing store she’d be aware that bootlegs are out and skinnys are in. Not jeggings, though. Those are just wrong.

Kim doesn’t want money crap getting in the way of their relationship. She’s got a great way to accomplish this goal – just don’t pay Kandi anything. Done and done. Who’s up next?

Ah, it’s Sheree, off to audition for a part in If These Hips Could Talk. Even though she didn’t know you auditioned in front of people, and even though she couldn’t do the part the way the casting team wanted her to do it, and even though she didn’t know you were supposed to play a part a certain way and not just how Sheree would do it, she got the part. Sheree’s got mad acting skills *coughnamerecognitioncough*.

Part of Nene’s drama free life includes yelling at Bryson to come downstairs and write down a list of things he’s got to do tomorrow. He’s had 90 days to get it together, or else. Bryson has elected to go with or else and this really does seem to be a wise choice on his part. When it comes right down to it, Nene isn’t go to kick his sorry butt out. Bryson may not be the sharpest tool in the shed but he’s learned not to look the gift horse in the mouth. When mom asks what she can do to help Bryson get on the right path, his request is funding. Well, hell, Nene, I’d like some funding, too. If you’re going to just hand out money then I’m going to get in line. In the meantime, Nene’s going to let Bryson stay there until he can become independent. This is what you do when you want to be your child’s parent, not their friend. Some people (Kim) like to be friends with their children. Can you imagine? As if.

Tip it! TIIIIP it!

The wedding countdown marches on and it’s now just ten hours away. Kithe has arrived and is preparing for the day by having Cynthia’s mom make him breakfast. Mom’s stepped up and is paying the liquor bill. Speaking of liquor, Kithe notices Cynthia’s really stepped it up on the drinking and decides to reassure her that his car is full of gas and they can still skip town. Just off camera, Mallory is rushing to get Cynthia’s purse and Kithe’s keys but Cynthia decides to stay.

Sort of. We are now down to nine hours and Cynthia’s bolted. Mom comes to find her and talk her off the jungle gym ledge by crying and begging her to talk to her. After Cynthia’s safely on the ground again, Mom grabs the chance to tell Cynthia she’s not having a great feeling about this wedding. She’s already lived this life and she doesn’t want to see Cynthia have to go through it. At this point I’m wondering where all these people have been and why they haven’t said anything until now. In fact, we’ve seen many folks talking Cynthia into getting married. Mallory began the season nudging Cynthia into Peter’s line of fire. Leon spent time with her in the same park telling her she’s being too cautious and that she needs to stop running. No wonder Cynthia’s all twisted up over this shindig.

Where's the straw?

It’s now Nene’s turn to get yelled at to come downstairs and talk, this time to Greg. He’s poured two very full glasses of wine and has huffed and puffed all the way up the stairs from the basement to apologize. I could go over the whole conversation again but a) I’m sure you’ve already seen this fight before and b) I’m sure you’ll see it again. It might not have been/be with Greg but there’s no way you haven’t seen/won’t see Nene fight with someone. I will point out the wine glasses again. They were Zolciak full. Or Singer full. Pick your poison.

Tick tock, we’re down to six hours to wedding. This is the perfect time to find out there are no wedding bands. What the hell? Out of all the parts to a wedding, I would consider the bands to be one of the biggest must haves. Wedding bands are a very intimate thing. Long after the wedding has come and gone and Kim’s sobered up, the wedding bands will still be there. Plus, it was the only thing Peter was responsible for. Once again, I’m crossing my fingers for an evil Bravo edit.

Since the bus tour was was Sweetie’s first experience on the road with a singer, she was unaware of the importance of hiding the microphone before returning home. Kim got her hands on it and now can holler down Sweetie from three blocks away instead of just two. I’m sure Sweetie learned her lesson on that one.

Sonofabitch!

Kim’s had her boobs done and is very happy with her newfound pillowy goodness. All signs point to her already being drunk as she is already lifting her arms above her head to curl her hair. Alcohol is a great pain killer, but only if you’re over 21, kids. Please consult a physician before you begin any alcoholic regimen. By reading this blog you have agreed to waive all rights. TV Time 101 is not responsible for anything, ever, and if you knew these bitches in real life you’d agree.

Whoowee, Kroy’s a hottie in that suit, dog. He’s so hot he made the ring not mean a thing. Didn’t Bravo used to pixelate the photo that is in Kim’s room?

Wedding time marches on. Makeup is getting done, hair is being pinned up and Peter’s finally run out of booze so it must be time to show up at Fernbank. Tony the wedding planner is not pleased, not pleased at all, that Peter is smashed. Hey, that means more booze for the guests, right? Tony tells Peter to stay. STAY. and rushes off to do something of great importance. Peter uses his freedom to take off in search of a vodka cranberry. In a light suit? Peter! This is no time for a red beverage. Clear drinks are your friends.

The gays are arriving and for once, Dwight is the most understated of the bunch. Derek J’s brought pearls for everyone and Sheree is toting a dude for each arm. Holy hell, the marriage license isn’t there! What to do, what to do? Holy hell, it wasn’t Nene sabotaging the wedding, it was Mallory! Finally, Bravo succeeds in a misdirection. Mom jumps in to talk her other daughter off the ledge and Cynthia is assured that the license has arrived.

Since there was no footage of Nene throwing a makeup fit, is this the reason for the delay?

Kim brought her own wine. Honestly, how does she get away with this shit? You know what? I am jealous of a housewife and it’s Kim. If I pulled half the crap she did I’d get called on it and end up running away with my tail between my legs. Kim pulls off the most obnoxious stunts and I don’t hate her for it. Those wigs must be made of Teflon.

The wedding is almost upon us so this is the perfect moment to get some guest reactions. Phaedra tells us there are a lot of fronters in Atlanta so she’s not surprised that Cynthia was able to pull off a million dollar wedding with just 50 cents.

Sheree gets her haughty on about it being nice but points out that you can definitely tell where corners were cut. We’ll look past her “we’ll love you no matter what, don’t have a big showy wedding just to impress people” speech just a few days ago in Miami, but I’m not going to pass up a chance to remind y’all about Sheree’s love affair with repo guys and foreclosure agents.

Dwight wonders where the flowers are.

Kim’s questioning if the wedding’s going to happen.

Kandi’s concerned and says “OMG, Cynthia ran.” Oh, Kandi. OMG is Kim’s thing. Have you paid her royalties on it? Don’t forget to factor in all those replays since it was included in a Bravo preview clip.

No worries, Cynthia arrives, looking stunning but a bit on the sad side. This is the moment we find out she is an excellent model because she comes down that big ass, spiral staircase in heels and a giant dress and barely touches the hand rails. Now, I watched this scene a couple of times and I couldn’t tell for sure – was there music?

Peter looks like he’s thanking the good Lord for Cynthia. Also, I like his bow tie.

Wedding stuff, high-as-a-Kithe introduces the couple, reception stuff. Nene wishes them all the best. Kim’s putting money on them not being together in a year. Dwight’s found someone gayer than him and his name is Derek. Derek’s pulled his fanciest buttons from his TGIFriday’s suspenders for this very formal occasion.

How dreadful.

Dwight hasn’t been able to squeeze much screen time out of Phaedra so now is the time to make nice with the Nene. Mr. NotEnoughFlowers decides to use some of the few that are there to regift to Nene as a peace offering. Dancing is done, solidfying their relationship until the next blow out.

And that’s the season. What do our ladies have to say in parting?

Nene feels like she’s become someone she didn’t even know that she could become. Does she mean that in a good way (wow, look at how I’ve grown) or in a bad way (these bitches made me crazy)? Nene wants to move to LA and get her happy back. Once again, Bravo, she is not going to find her happy in Beverly Hills. Don’t even let her try.

Kandi wants to find her Prince Charming and have another child. Issues surrounding The Ring Doesn’t Mean a Thing are still unresolved so the song is still unreleased. Housewives fans everywhere do a happy dance.

Phaedra feels totally complete for the first time ever and she knows she can have it all. She’s proud of her post-baby body and her lactating breasts. Here’s to seven figures next year.

Sheree wants eight. Hell, go ahead and give her eight, Bravo. Then you can just turn right around and take it back from her. That’s how Sheree rolls. She’s having the best time of her life so no need to change the status quo, right? Sheree’s come out of her shell and is doing the things she wants to do. If this is coming out of her shell, what was she like before?

Kim’s in a great place and really loves Kroy. They did make a sticky sweet couple on WWHL. How cute was he being all complimentary and respectful towards Kim? He seems like a great guy. Good for Kim. I hope those two work out.

Cynthia is learning to separate romance from finance and remains happily married. I haven’t the heart to tell her that most of the people that I know that’ve managed to separate romance from finance have done so via divorce court.

Atlanta is done for another season. Just the reunion left and then we’re back in New York and Orange County. I’m not sure I’m ready for it.

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35 Responses to “Real Housewives of Atlanta RECAP – The Bride and the Doom”

  1. BondGirl said

    Hello….all!!! What a finale……still can’t believe that Cynthia went through with the wedding…..ad what was up with her wearing that t-shirt with that poignant saying on her special day? I wonder who suggested it to her…..I think mom or sis had something to do with it considering the great lengths they took to get her to see some reasoning.

    Nene in that red light district dress….so inappropriate for a wedding…..she has really turned into something else…..very self serving. It was very tacky of Kim to bring her own wine…..and all the negative commentary from the church choir regarding the wedding will surely make the reunion a must see……

  2. Dy said

    That Tshirt said it all BondGirl..”You big Dummy”..Suggesting a cash bar at a wedding, thank god her planner or whoever he was said absolutly not, she would have been a laughing stock. 2 grown ass adults she in her forties, he in his fifties not having 3,000. is some pretty sad messed up stuff,and having Mama foot that bill, wow, just wow.

    What hell does NeNe think she is going to do in la? She couldn’t even get a job at her local tv station. She is a hot mess,she is not going anywhere. She is staying in the Atl.and being a Bravo Housewive.

  3. BondGirl said

    Hey Dy!!! Hope your day has been great!! I so agree with ya!! Some pretty embarrassing stuff that both Cynthia and Peter could not come up with the 3 grand and rings…..I was astonished. So, I guess the gown is was what really eat up the whole budget? And why in heaven’s name did they need 200 people? Just having their family and a few selected friends would have sufficed….and then they would have had money for other things like drinks and rings……VERY poor management ……

    Nene really is believing her own hype…..LA will eat her up and spit her out like a bad meal. I thought Greg was being very sincere, but she came off like a total B. She is just too much….now she is on the Apprentice with her loud and obnoxious self……..NUTS!!!

  4. G-sus said

    Great recap TK. I wasn’t paying close attention while watching the episode last night, so I missed some things. Much more interesting getting your play-by-play. Makes me giggle.
    Loved the lighting at the wedding and how it changed the color of Cynthia’s dress. I also feel bad for Cynthia. Not for her marriage, but having to watch all of the nasty things the ladies had to say about the wedding. Will have to watch how much they try to backtrack on all the trash talk at the reunion.
    Done, along with everyone else, with NoNo. But for me it’s because I think it’s the same ol’ schtick. Don’t buy for a minute that she and Dwight were fighting for realzies. And had a serious case of deja vu when NoNo and Kim were saying they were “done” with each other, lol.

  5. BondGirl said

    Yes, Cynthia looked GREAT after all……I sure wish she is happy. Oh, for the first time I think Nene and Kim just might be DONE!!!

    I think Kim may be working on AC for her own show now that she has hooked up with Kroy (who by the way needs one of Cynthia’s pre wedding t-shirt). LOL!!!!

  6. Dy said

    @3 Yes, that was just ridicules BondGirl..No wedding rings, No 3,000. Mama pays your liquor bill…Pretty messed up!

    Cynthia did look beautiful, her hair and make up flawless.Her daughter looks just like her father( who I happen to Love).Her mother looked beautiful too.

    NeNe just does not know how to dress,let alone get the correct size..Kim I liked the dress, just needs to cover the boobies! Kandi like i said yesterday wore the same dressthat Bethenny had on at the reunion, didn’t like it on Bethenny, didin’t like it on Kandi..Phaedra and Sheree looked good!

  7. G-sus said

    @ BondGirl There was a rumor that she wanted a Bethenny-type show of her own after she got preggo, but that Bravo turned her down. Don’t know if it is true or not.
    Maybe with Kim and Nene the 4th(season) time will be the charm and they will be done! Not keeping my fingers crossed, lol.

  8. Dy said

    @7…That was one of those “unknown source says” stories that got floated arounfd here..I call bs.

  9. G-sus said

    @8 It was in an interview that was given by a “source close to Kim” when she announced her pregnancy. She probably threw it out there hoping Bravo would take the bait or just for some PR.

  10. Fleur said

    TK as always your recap was spot on! 5***** again! I have to admit that I was appalled at Cynthia’s attitude towards her marriage. “For now?” WTH? WTH? Did she realize that they were supposedly taking a sacred vow before GOD and their families and friends? That marriage isn’t something to be entered into lightly? Wasn’t that the point of having the MINISTER perform the ceremony? Why not just to go Vegas and have an Elvis impersonator do it if you weren’t gonna take it seriously? Or better yet just get Dwight. He think’s he’s God and can walk on water anyway! As Dy says, “Holy Freakin’ Cannoli!”

  11. Dy said

    @9 Really ? Whatever..still call bs

    @10 Hi Fleur!!!

  12. Fleur said

    **waving and sending big hugs** Hi Dy!!!!

    Cynthia’s dress was beautiful and she looked amazing in it. If it were my dress I could’ve done without that giant bow but Wow it sure worked on her. I have to say that Kithe’s voice was soooooooooo condescending and oooooooover the top; annoying to me in the extreme. But I’d much rather him plan my wedding than that silly Stunt Queen Dwight and I loved the venue. Unique and cool. I thought that the simplicity of it was wonderful. Sometimes less is more.

    I have to agree with Kim. I give Cynthia and Peter a year at best. From what I see they’re totally incompatable went into this thing with way too much baggage. To me Peter’s not trustworthy or nice at all and he doesn’t even have a steady J-O-B! I find him mentally abusive and totally disrespectful to women. C really needs to lose her doormat mentality and kick his geriatric arse to the curb.

    I guess I’m just old fashioned when it comes to marriage. If you want to live with someone then go for it, I’m not gonna judge someone for that and I’d rather people live together than make a big mistake; but to me if you’re gonna take marriage vows then they need to be taken SERIOUSLY. I’ve been married to the same guy for 24 years this October 31st. He’s a DEA agent and to this day Bo is still the sweetest, sexiest, most honorable man I’ve ever laid eyes on. Even my gay friends crush on him. HAHA Damned skippy, the man is still crazy about me too. 😉

  13. Fleur said

    Sorry! My post went way longer than I realized!!!

  14. Bryan said

    No it wasn’t Fleur it was good!

  15. Dy said

    @12 Fleur..

    I agree, no bow..But she sure did rock that dress, beautiful, just beautiful.. The place was cool, just didn’t like the guestS having to walk down those steps. I guess I just think about old people and stuff.

    I don’t trust Uncle Ben either, Shady man that Peter Thomas!

  16. Daniela said

    Good Morning!

    Dy, Cynthia looked beautiful. Her gown was magnificent. Problem is she got the booby prize with Peter! This was the one she should have run away from!

  17. Bryan said

    Good Morning All!!!

  18. Dani said

    Morning all.

    Two nights in a row I tried to watch and fell asleep so only got bits and pieces. I did think Cynthia looked gorgeous. Just hope she has a gorgeous marriage too. I know many think Cynthia is boring but I think she just doesn’t have the mean gene that some of these ladies have. I hope things work out for her but there are definitely some signs that don’t bode well for that relationship.

    Fleur – That was touching what you said about your hubby. Always good to hear about a real love story.

    NeNe is way out in left field right now. She is self destructive w/no self awareness. Her tough stance with her son has pretty much fizzled. I know it would be hard to put your child out but sometimes the struggle to make ends meet is the best lesson to be learned. The fact that his solution is to have NeNe give him some money shows where his head is at. Hey Bryson, nobody can build self-esteem for you but you and that comes from earning your own way.

    I started out thinking Phaedra was a pompous ass. Becoming a mother was the best thing to happen to her. Yeah she still throws out some whoppers once in awhile but having a baby has certainly humanized her. And how cute is that kid?

  19. Dy said

    Good Morning Everyone!

    I turned the corner on Phaedra, Dani. I think you are right, becoming a Mommy brought out a side to her I like.

    I agree Daniela.@16

  20. Dani said

    Hi Dy – I felt for Phaedra when she had to go back to work. I always wanted to be home with my kids when they were so little. It breaks your heart to leave them with a caretaker. Somethings never change for Mom’s over time and that is one of them.

  21. Dy said

    @20 Hi Dani

    Oh I know, I agree. Those tears streaming down her face, I think every Mommy could relate. 😦

  22. BobLHead said

    Morning ladies….I’ve also become a Phaedra fan….she is so freakin’ funny!

  23. BobLHead said

    May have been in the episode before the finale, but I love that Phaedra and her mom can am entire conversation just sayin nnnnhuh.

  24. Dani said

    Hi BobL, I got the biggest kick out of the scene between Phaedra and her Mom when they were bonding over food earlier in the season. Mmmmm Hmmmmm. Remember that one.

  25. Dy said

    Hi Bob and Dani…

    I just love the way she speaks and some of her one liners…”well the dinosaurs are a nice accent”..Bwaaah..So many others that I can’t think of right now.

    I’ll tell you though in the begining of the season, with her saying her ignorant comments, and attitude ..Wow, it took me a minute with Miss Phaedra, but I ‘m over it now..lol

  26. Dani said

    Dy, I think Phaedra comes by her humor naturally after seeing her Mom.

  27. Dy said

    Yes Dani, it does seem natural.

  28. Olive the other Reindeer said

    Hi everyone,,OK,,my words of wisdom,,,,DAMMIT!!!! Cynthia,,you could have married Leon,,u big dummy!!!!!!

    Whew,,that felt good,,,How is everyone?? I too am a Phaedra fan,,go figure. Did anyone catch Nene on the dance floor dancing all by herself,,yeah NeNE it’s all about u sister….

    Loved the recap as usual TK,,ok,,going to go rest…..Love u guys

  29. Rosie said

    Hi everyone!
    I’ve changed my mind on Phaedra too. She is really pretty funny.
    Olive.. I think Leon would have been a better choice for Cynthia, too.

    I think Cynthia looked beautiful, she is a striking woman. I agree with many.. No rings? And I also didn’t see any flowers at the wedding. You don’t need a jungle, but some flowers would have been nice. If it were me, I would have cut the guest list to 75/80 people, and have an elegant, more intimate affair.

  30. Dy said

    Hi Olive!

    Hi Rosie!

  31. Rosie said

    Hi Dy!!

  32. Bryan said

    Morning/Afternoon everyone!!!

  33. Dy said

    Hi Bryan!!

  34. Rosie said

    Hi there Bryan!

  35. Mrs. Hugh Jackman said

    To everyone who says Cynthia should have married Leon….I AGREE!!!!

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