Tv Time 101

Controls your remote

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills – ReRehashed, Because Everyone Loves Leftovers

Posted by tinselkitty on January 28, 2011


And we’re back! Holy shit, quick, someone find out if Kim drank any champagne!

Nah, let’s go back to Camille talking about how she was villainized. Seems her lawyer might have watered and tended to the victim seed. He warned her that when someone divorces a celebrity, everyone takes the side of the celebrity and villainizes the spouse. This tidbit would have still been bouncing around in Camille’s noggin when the interwebs turned on her. Who to blame, who to blame? It can’t be her fault! No, it must be…

Kyle! In the limo! With a magazine! She set Camille up, but she didn’t set her up. It was all very Beverly Hills maciavellicly pernicious, so it’s okay if you don’t understand. This is deep shit right here. Many philosophers will take up this situation and write extensively yet no one will fully grasp the depth and significance.

You know who was part of this set-up non-set-up? Faye Resnick. Uh huh, she sure was. Kyle sprung Faye on her on porpoise. But at least we finally know why Camille called Faye morally corrupt. It was because Faye was showing the ladies nekkid pictures of Camille. That Camille posed for and got paid for, over and over again. That Camille made her living on. How was she to know those pictures would ever again see the light of day? Those  photos were taken in the privacy of a photography studio in order to be packaged with other, similar photos for resale. The goddamned nerve of Faye Resnick. How dare she dredge up those photos of Camille after Camille had just hosted her dinner party. Where she called Faye Resnick morally corrupt.

Hang on. That timeline seems out of whack. Let me check that again. That can’t be right because Camille is determined that we all know she doesn’t lie. I should watch that part again to be sure. Huh. Well that’s just an infinite loop of fail. So which is it, Honest Camille? Did you call Faye morally corrupt because she showed everyone your pictures or did she show everyone your pictures after you called her morally corrupt? You should have written down some notes, my dear. I am sure someone at the PR firm could draw you some pictures if that would help.

Andy, I personally had no problem not feeling for Camille as her marriage fell apart. Mostly because of her own abhorrent behavior. Abhorrent! Add it to the list, bitches!

Random thought – how does Adrienne curl her hair with the tinsel strands in it? Wouldn’t those things melt in a curling iron?

Back to the PR approved questions. Camille has apparently spent some of her money buying a clue about what sounds obnoxious, because she’s all of a sudden not wanting to name a monetary figure because she now finds that to be obnoxious. Now that I think about it, though, it might have been just a rental because in between the time this reunion was taped and today, she hasn’t had any qualms about throwing around numbers. I hope she can apply the rental price of the clue against the purchase price if she decides to go ahead and buy it full out later on.

It’s time for a Camille break so now we move on to Kim and Shanaylor’s relationship. I do have to say, Shanaylor did the best impression of a deer caught in the headlights that I ever did see. Her eyes got huge! And guess which clip isn’t up on Bravo yet? Chickenfuckers. Do you think Shanaylor just now realized that there is incontrovertible proof of her actions?

This video montage leads into Shanaylor’s second speech of the night.

“Well she needs to learn some manners and so we needed to go outside and I’ve never laid a hand on anyone in my entire life and my charity means everything to me so if that was taken in a way that makes it seem like I’m a violent person, then I misspoke.Certainly never been in a fight in my life, so…”

Yeah. Okay. Anyone else notice that Shanaylor only speaks in run-on sentences when she’s cornered? You know what else she does? She draws herself up to be physically intimidating and makes threatening gestures. But she’s, like, totally not violent. She just uses these tactics when she needs to teach someone manners. Just ignore the fact that it isn’t her place to teach anyone manners other than her own child. Because that’s who teaches people manners. Their mothers. Not you, Shanaylor. Mothers are the ones that take you outside when your manners are inappropriate. Of course, my mom only sat me in the car until I stopped throwing whatever temper tantrum I’d been in the throes of. She never went Oklahoma on my ass so Shanaylor probably doesn’t like my manners, either.

 

Say it. Say it, bitch! Tell them I'm your BFF!!!

Oh, lordy, I know Kim did not just talk back to Shanaylor. Oh no she di’int. Well you know what, maybe we should talk about Kim’s state of mind that night. Back me up here, Kyle. How would you like that Kim? Yeah, Andy, I said maybe we should talk about Kim’s state of mind that night. Kyle. Hey, Kyle. Kyle, for realz, pay attention here, I’m getting ready to open some more Oklahoma on your sister. Oh, okay, I would like to pass on this right now and come back to it later, please. I’m feeling protective all of a sudden, even towards Kim. Don’t you roll your eyes at me, Kyle. I’ll just assume you meant to aim that at your sister and not me, your BFF4EVR.

 

Andy finally realizes that Kim is actually in the room and that he can speak directly to her. Not only that, but Kim will speak back when spoken to! It’s a Housewives miracle. Kim shows magnificent clarity and declares that Shanaylor is a chameleon and doesn’t have a commitment to anyone. Shanaylor, apparently, loves the one she’s with.

Duh, yeah, Kim. Shanaylor tries to be a friend to everyone and tries to be neutral to everyone. She’s a people pleaser by nature and doesn’t need to chose sides or only be friends with one person. Just because she chose to be on Team Kyle doesn’t mean she needed to chose a side. She’s not a chose-aholic. She only choses socially. Some people can handle their own chosings.

 

The reason Ken believes in God

The uncomfortable vibe is thick so Andy decides this is the time to point out how the evil editing overlords of Bravo have noticed that, although Lisa says she doesn’t have sex, she sure does talk about it all the time. In the corner, Camille loses all other thoughts as she rearranges Andy’s words in her head so she can hear him say “We edit the housewives horribly”. Victory shall be hers! She rejoined the conversation just as Andy told Lisa she was cheeky. Camille made a mental note to see her plastic surgeon on Monday and find out more about this cheekiness thing. Her husband was an A list actor and if there is a new cosmetic procedure out there, she’s damn well going to have it, too.

 

Let’s talk for a bit about how jealous Lisa is of Shanaylor. She’s a jelly belly! A peanut butter and jelly jelly belly! She wishes she could hold Kyle’s hands and stroke them tenderly the way Shanaylor does. Tinselkitty will now direct you back to the earlier speech regarding usage of the jealous excuse.

Poor Adrienne had so little action this season that Andy had to dig deep to find something to talk to her about. Adrienne isn’t hiding any deep dark resentment about Paul. She thinks Camille sometimes says things she doesn’t really mean sometimes when she said she was 30% busier than the other wives.

I want to also give Kudos to Monica from Kentucky for the question about Adrienne’s net worth. The phrasing on that was genius!

Finally we are at “the comment”. The comment that won’t die. Jill Zarin has been sitting in NY for months trying to figure out how to get herself into this argument. Who’s saying what at this point?

Camille –

Kyle asked Camille why were they shooting her in Hawaii for the show, how long are you going to be there, well why aren’t you bringing any of the other girls, if Kelsey was coming with her, why are they shooting you without Kelsey being there?

Kyle –

That’s not the truth, she never said any of that stuff, she never asked Camille about bringing the other girls, that’s the first time Camille’s ever even said that one about the other girls, Camille’s changed her story so many times.

Camille’s had enough of Kyle bullying her and now it’s her time to take her power and tell Kyle she’s wrong. Because Kyle called her delusional and this is what happened. This whole season was set up to make Camille look bad and this was the honest truth!

 

Just bring all of Kim's drinks to me, please.

Now it’s Kyle’s turn to tell us how Camille was brought into the show by Kyle and Camille originally resisted. Kyle starts going into “the conversation” as she heard it. At this point, I am noticing how little Kyle’s story has changed. Whoever is telling the truth, Kyle has recited the story the exact same way each time.

 

Everyone’s forgotten about Kim again and no one thinks to turn to her and ask what exactly was said. I mean, really, she’s sitting right there! She was the only witness. I hope to hell Andy never goes into police work.

Andy points out that this was, indeed, an insecurity issue and Camille agrees. Christ on a cracker woman, you just admitted it was an insecurity issue and that’s the whole reason you wouldn’t let this damn argument die. Why couldn’t you do that six months ago?

Camille tells Kyle that she bullied her and ruined her reputation “because you needed a target.” But she doesn’t think Kyle set her up. This is true because, according to Camille, Kyle keeps saying Camille attacks her. Camille has never attacked her.

Side note – you know how ever season there is a buzz word that we can’t get away from? For example, toxicity with the last season of New York. Yeah, attack is the word for BH, and no one says it more than Camille. I’m not saying she holds any records on actual attacks, but she has got to be the world champion in using that word.

Does Camille see herself as the victim? Gosh, that’s a good question. What does playing sneaky mean? Sure, she grins and grimaces a lot, but it’s nervous laughter. Teeheeheehee. Was this acting on Camille’s part? Because it totally came off as her being sarcastic bitchy to me. I can’t tell which persona she’s going for at that point.

Lisa jumps in to set things straight and finger Shanaylor for the crime of pot-stirring and it’s incredibly interesting how Shanaylor sits there quietly and takes her lumps from Lisa for the exact same stuff that Kim accuses her of. Such a difference in behavior when Lisa says it versus when Kim says it. Oh, yeah, that’s because Shanaylor is a’skeered of Lisa and likes to threaten Kim.

Why did the word insecure strike a chord with Camille? Cause, it’s like, you know, the troof and stuff. Is Camille overly sensitive about how people perceive her because of Kelsey? Yes, she will say maybe yes, and maybe she did bring that in to the conversation. Of course. Maybe. Yes. There could be some sensitivity to that.

Why didn’t Kim come to Kyle’s defense in New York? Wait, Kim’s here? Why didn’t anyone tell Andy? When did she sneak in? Because Kim didn’t want to get put into the middle of something only to find later that she is shunned because Kyle’s made up with whoever and now they’re bestest buddies again. That really sounded like something that had happened to Kim before. We’ve all seen that scenario play out, usually with guys. Someone tells her friend that boytoy is boinking the bar slut. The friend ends up being the bad guy and gets dumped, when it should have been boytoy that got kicked to the curb.

Camille rounds out the night by saying she doesn’t think Kyle is jealous of her and Kyle jumps all over that bad boy to point out that Camille’s only saying that now that she realizes everyone is laughing at her. Yep, it was catty, but Kyle means it.

After watching the last 15 minutes of this episode over and over again trying to catch everything, I’m left with the observation that both Camille and Kyle were the most animated when they went after each other. Camille was pretty even keel the whole time, no matter if she was discussing Kelsey or how the viewers hated her or how devastated she was at this or that comment. Kyle was near comatose while Taylor duked it out with her sister. But bring up “the comment” and both of them sat up and scootched forward on the sofa, preparing for battle. Camille narrowed her eyes down to laser beam focus and glared at Kyle the whole time. You would have thought they had taken a coffee enema break.

I only wish that Kyle had been a tenth that interested in her sister.

As for Kim, you go ahead and take Shanaylor’s advice to heart, sisterfriend. You make sure you tread softly, and while you’re doing that, you go on and carry a big ass stick. And you know what? I’ve got your back. Damn straight. I guarantee you Shanaylor doesn’t even want to know which state I’ll open up on her ass.

 

Advertisements

24 Responses to “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills – ReRehashed, Because Everyone Loves Leftovers”

  1. G-sus said

    Phew, makes me tired for you just reading it TK. Love how you get every nuance and golden nugget in there. I can’t decide which recap I like better Part 1 or 2. HMMMM, I think I will have to go with the part one solely based on you saying that Taylor had a small penis, LMAO still at that one.

  2. Figures, G-sus. You would pick that part. And to think I was second guessing it and almost deleted it.

  3. G-sus said

    You know me TK, penis jokes always win me over.

  4. Dalai Mama said

    Since we’re passing the rehash, I’ll rehash the comment I just posted on part 1 – TinselKitty you are an outlandishly excellent writer – I’m betting you would have held your own hoisting a few with Dorothy Parker at the Round Table. And for the record, while it is my personal belief that very few people actually and literally Laugh Out Loud when they report that they have, I did in fact produce an undeniably audible cackle at the observation GSus mentioned in comment 1. I’m going to do it again right now.

  5. Alright, Dalai, I’ll give in. You sure know how to sweet talk. Now tell me you’re going to stick around?

  6. Dalai Mama said

    By my troth, my liege. I am stuck on you.

  7. Bryan said

    Great Recap TK!!!!!

  8. But wait!! theres more!!!

  9. Fleur said

    TK, Recap 2 was another keeper and a LOL’er just like Dali Mama said!

  10. Bryan said

    What bugs me about Alex is last season when that horse decided she was going to “find her voice” and she expressing her hoofed self at not one but two social functions, she had plenty of time to tell of Jill without ruining two parties mainly that second one at that woman’s house. People came to have a good time, Not have some old mare come trotting in and Neighing Mouth Farting all over and killing a festive mood. Also the whole nonsense when she was Bethenny’s message bringing, What a Weasel, a full on Weasel.

    I my book, Bitch Must Be Punished

    • Righty-o, then! I only started hanging out with you cool kids during the last NY season so I didn’t know if it was something she’d done right out of the gate or what. I can see those. The message delivering certainly took on a life of its own. It reminded me of someone that gets a bit part in a movie so they try to milk it for all it’s worth.

  11. Bryan said

    @14TK, Exactly, I have a feeling she is running amok now.

  12. cutie pie said

    Great recap…yet again…thank you and in total agreement…nothing more to add.

  13. cutie pie said

    Ceptin’ that I really, really do want to see taylor get hers.

    In the very least, we got a chance to see zarin get hers. Her message boards, facebook page were filled with hate messages and it drove her crazy…she just couldn’t get it. She just could not for the life of her see how despicable her behavior is…I have a very good feeling she still doesnt’ and will deliver another boat load of drama yet again….but taylor seems to be gliding like teflon thru her horrid actions.

  14. wildheart said

    Ugh! I can’t stand Alex and disliked her since the beginning. Now, TK, I have said it before and I’ll say it again …your writing is hysterical, witty and intelligent! You know, Strega is insane, Jill is dumb, mean, insecure but Taytay takes things to a whole new level of bitchiness! That bitch better have the big smackdown coming her way on part two of the reunion!!

  15. Debbie said

    Dalai Mama
    Your mention of Dorothy Parker reminded me of a couple of quotes that would apply here:

    “Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.”
    “I don’t know much about being a millionaire, but I’ll bet I’d be darling at it.”
    “If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.”

    — Dorothy Parker

    And I agree with you, TK could hold her own at the Algonquin Round Table 🙂

  16. Dy said

    @19 Debbie..Oh those are good. love it! Thanks

  17. BobLHead said

    Morning ladies….TK, you rock….in 16 different directions!

  18. Mrs. Hugh Jackman said

    @19 Debbie, Hi! Thanks for those quotes. LOL.

    Hi BobLHead and everyone! 🙂

  19. Jelly...Peanut butter and Jelly....Jelly bean...whatever! said

    Love your recap….I needed that laugh!!
    Thanks!

  20. I too, LOL. You sure rite proper, Miss TK. I will continue to follow you. Enough of Jill and last years reunion. She ate crow and groveled to Bethany. I saw pics of Jill at Lisa’s restaurant, and she looked awful. I don’t think she even had on make-up. The pics of Lisa eating were great. I’m just partial to her and Adrienne Maloof. I just want someone to find out where her kids came from. Did she birth them or buy them. She seems pretty old to be having kids the traditional way. And we can all watch the demise of Taylors fortune. The banks will be calling. She can be the eleventh broke housewife. Cynthia Bailey is also going down that road. Talk about some junk in the trunk. OUCH!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

 
%d bloggers like this: