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Jersey Shore- Episode 3: Love and Hate.

Posted by LWoo on January 20, 2011


 Hello my lovelies! Time for some lovin’ and some hatin’ with Episode 3 of the Jersey Shore.

 

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We begin with Sammi & Roids. This can’t be a good start. Sammi is whining to Roids how she’s “mentally effed up right now” because she’s going out of her way to talk to him…basically chasing him. The girl is slow. She’s BEEN chasing him and following him.  Good play to Roids for doing another reversal on her- telling her that he felt that way 3 weeks before Miami. Thumbs up, Mr. Roids…well-played. Wait…..Hold the phone!  Remember that light that I was talking about in Sammi’s head from the 2nd episode? It’s getting brighter, everyone! She’s telling Roids that she lost a friend, meaning Snooki, because she was so blinded by being in love with Roids. Right here, I’m just going to say this: a lot of our young women have a hard time separating ‘love’ and ‘lust.’ If Ron-Ron loved this girl, he would’ve confronted her about her alleged cheating and they would’ve worked it out…or not. Going to Miami & dogging on her is NOT love…it’s idiocy. (WTF?!) Nevermind….I forgot who I was talking about here.

I digress. Because he’s tired of Sammi being attached to his ass, Roids tells her to “fix” her friendship with Snooki and Jenni and they’re done with. Um…huh? Now she’s confiding that she feels stupid for hating JWoww and Snooki for “things that happened way back when.” No, Sweetheart (no pun intended), you should feel stupid for NOT taking in the contents of the letter- instead, turning on those who were truly trying to help you. Good grief, this girl.

Cut to Nicole trying to eat a raw potato and Jen commenting that she can’t remember the last time she saw Snooks sober since they’ve been to the Shore. Hmmm. What the…?! When Vinny and Pauly walk in, Snooks asks Vinny if he’ll play with them…then proceeds to try to look at his wing wang. Damn. Vinny must be packing some helly-ass donkey stuff down there if this girl’s going to go for it on national TV. Nevermind….I forgot who I was talking about here.

Chivalry is NOT dead. After Snooki tries to go after ‘Seabiscuit’ over and over again, he can’t do it. Why? Because he doesn’t want to take advantage of Snooki when she’s incoherant. What a guy. I have to say that it is comforting that he’ll not take advantage of Snooki when she’s drunk, but he’ll take advantage of strangers at the clubs when they’re drunk. A man after my own heart. I wish you all could see the hearts flying around my head right now as I type about Vinny. Sigh….

Snooki couldn’t get to Seabiscuit, so her and Deena offer Mike a threesome because Nicole knows that Deena likes Mike. She likes Mike because he has a “sick body,” “cute face” (LMAO at this one), his personality and how he carries himself. He does not have a cute face. Am I the only one who sees this? Personally, I think she’s just simply horny. Some of us tend to get desperate when we’re really horny…at a young age…and drunk…at the Jersey Shore. Moving on.

Long story short: Snooki leaves the room and Mike tries to make out with Deena but it doesn’t work. He can’t get turned on. Um. He. Uh. What? How come this dude’s standards are so friggin’ high when he NEVER gets laid by pretty girls?! He always has a Grenade on his arm. Sitch, you have NO room to be picky, my man! None. But I digress…

Best line of the night comes from Sitch to Deena: “Did you take a shower?” LMAO! He later ditches her- acting as though he’s going to the bathroom, but goes to the kitchen. Deena, do you know what ‘Pride’ is? Look up the word. You’re getting ditched by someone who looks like a cross between Popeye & Wimpy.  Just give him a hamburger and he’s all yours, baby girl! Either that, or stop hitting on him. I promise you that you’ll regret it in the morning after you chew your arm off to get away from him. Trust me!

Meanwhile, Nicole’s trying to get into Vinny. He’s still not going to do it. Nicole, my dear, why would you want Angelina’s Sloppy Seconds? Gross.

The next morning, Pauly D and Snooki go do GTL. How cute are they together? Awww, I love Grandpa Pauly. After tanning – in which Snooki declares that Pauly is “really Black,” they head to the house.  But Miss Nicole may have applied too much tanning stuff on her tushy and has a burn- which prompts her to stick her ass in the mini-fridge. Thumbs up. 

In some foreshadowing, Nicole says she’ll forgive Sammi if Sammi apololies to her. Before that, Sammi says that her conscience is eating her about Roids because she’s worried. (And the light in her head is blinking now). She tells Roids that she wants “all of his skeletons laid out” because she “knows.” In one of the worst things that a man can say to a woman, Roids tells her “F*cking talk! Be a f*cking woman!” as Sammi sits there with a bewildered smirk on her face. Girl…throw something at him. Nevermind….I forgot who I was talking about here. He does make a point of telling her to get up and go outside– as in ‘do something instead of sitting in bed all day’. He says he needs a ‘mind condom’ because he’s being “mind f*cked.” I STILL don’t see why any woman would like this dude…..anyone…any volunteers on letting me know something here?? I’d love to hear him make a complete sentence that actually makes sense. I don’t get it.  Finally, they’re outside (God, this is tiring writing about them) arguing about what he’s done. She NOW tries to calm him. Cut to Mike Sorrentino with complete sentences that make sense. I’m going to quote, verbatim: “I’m gonna be real…it’s her. Even if it was his fault and he f*cked up in Miami, she needs to be a woman and be like ‘F*ck you, I’m gonna be myself’. And, therefore, if that had happened, you’ll see him do his thing…have fun…and then you’ll see her try to grow as a person and try to have some fun- which she never has.” Michael Sorrentino, I have no words for this. You make absolute sense and sums it up while talking to Jenni and Deena.

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After that enlightenment, I’m not going to continue on the endless argument outside when Roids tells Sammi that HE’S the one who’s done.  I love how Pauly asks Ron, “Everything alright, bro? I heard alotta yellin’.” You’re awesome, Grandpa Pauly. (I thought only Black folks called each other’s asses ‘narrow?’ Pauly yells, “Samantha! Get your narrow ass down here, we gotta go to work!”) I’m sooo gonna meet him one day. But I digress…

Whaddaya know, Sammi apololies to Nicole at work. I hate her intentions behind the apology. Think about it: they (meaning Nicole and Jenni) really wanted to help Sammi. Anyone can see that. But Sammi just thought of them as her enemies and didn’t even think about the big picture. She’s only apololying because her & Roids have fallen out again and she has no one to really talk to. Even the guys shy from being around her. Nicole is awesome. She forgives Sammi. Even Sammi said she wouldn’t have forgiven herself! LOL

(Is this recap long enough? Sorry.)

Sammi comes in and apololies to Deena. Nice. I love how JWoww walks through in the middle of her apology and belches! Thumbs up, Jenni. Jenni does NOT forgive Sammi and makes it known to Nicole. It’s all good.

Cut to the club when Deena gets kicked out, JWoww sees an ex and pees behind a non-working bar, Pauly D gets a drink thrown on him, and…..wait….someone threw a drink on my Grandpa Pauly?! What the fizz?! Oh, no wonder: it’s the crazy check from Season 1 who was stalking Pauly D. Pauly, I’d beat her ass FOR you. The troubling thing: how fast Roids got up when he saw Pauly D had a drink thrown on him. I’m just going to chuck it up to him not seeing the ‘girl’ throw the drink on my Grandpa Pauly.
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Anywho, cut to morning when Snooki goes to work hungover and commences to drink AFTER work. As she tries to find the beach (which is on her right), JWoww and Deena find her wandering around. They can’t control the 4-footer and it gets the po po’s attention. The po po were going to let Nicole go go, until she started cursing at them. Okay, peeps, to keep it real- I’ve been drunk around the police (they’re in the casinos here in Detroit after 2AM) and I know to always control my cool- even flirting to mask my lovely drunkeness. Let me remind you that I always have a designated driver. Don’t drink and drive, people. Moving on…
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Dear Snooki gets arrested- upsetting Deena and Jenni to tears. The episode ends with Jenni calling Nicole’s dad to let him know about her arrest. Oh…shit. That’s gonna hurt.

The winner this episode: The Situation. Even though he acted like an ass with Deena, he completely redeemed himself when discussing the Ronnie & Sammi situation.

The loser this episode: You guessed it….Nicole. She obviously has a drinking issue. You can have a drink without getting wasted to the point that you’re falling on your face. And to get arrested on top of it all….not good. Just stupid.

I have an idiot this episode: The Danielle chick who threw a drink on Grandpa Pauly. Instead of letting us forget about her, she reminded us that she was a crazy stalker in Season 1 of the Jersey Shore! Let’s be real— she saw the MTV cameras there and she could’ve kept her pride by dipping out of the club. Instead, she makes her way towards the cameras, throws a drink on my new Boo and then attacks the cameraman! Good grief, what an idiot!

Oh yeah, Ronnie & Sam made up at the club.

A little more:
I got this article from Perez Hilton.com. Apparently, Bill O’Reilly wants Snooki on his show…to discuss ‘Obamacare’ and Afghanastan? Um…what?  Oh yeah, AND the Jersey Shore. WTF?

Ratings are what they used to be anymore, boys? Now you have to harrass reality stars?

One of his producers practically begged for her to get on the show. Kudos to her Publicist for taking over- just like Perez stated.  Again…WTF?? You can see the video by clicking on the link above. I think it’s hilarious, personally. 😉

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28 Responses to “Jersey Shore- Episode 3: Love and Hate.”

  1. The Code Whisperer said

    @imajustsaying u nailed dis synopsis 🙂 Favorite Part..”Seabiscuit” lmaooooo… Seriously, woman.. Love the way u write. 🙂

  2. Dy said

    @1 TCW..Lwoo wrote this Blog.

    Great job Lwoo xo

    Wheres the beach,Wheres the beach…

  3. Rosie said

    LWoo..
    Excellent recap, and funny too! I love the picture of Snooki getting arrested, with the huge crowd of people watching from the boardwalk. Lol.

  4. Rosie said

    Lol! Good morning Dy!! 🙂

  5. Dy said

    Good Morning Rosie xo

  6. LWoo said

    Good morning, peeps! Glad that you all liked the recap. Sorry it’s so long, but it was SO much. 😀

  7. Dy said

    Always worth the wait LWoo xo…

    Love your recaps,you crack me up! 🙂

  8. LWoo said

    Good morning, Dyana! Thank you. LOL!

  9. Rosie said

    LWoo..
    It wasn’t too long.. It was just right!

  10. Dy said

    I agree Rosie @9

    LWoo,I think you do a great job, I look forward to your Blogs.

  11. Bryan said

    Why do all these kids look the same?

  12. LWoo said

    LOL @ Bryan! I think they tan at the same place and that’s why, B.

    @ 9 Rosie: Good morning, Miss Rosie! 😀 I hope it’s not too long. I felt like I was typing forever last night- but I kept rewinding the DVR too! Maybe that’s why it felt so long.

    Thank you so much, Dy. That means a lot to me. *Muah*

  13. Mrs. Hugh Jackman said

    Great job sweet LWoo! Hey, I was wondering the same thing as Bryan. LOL. Thanks for clearing that up.

    Does anyone know how much jail time Snooki received?

    Those house-slippers weigh as much as Snooki does. My feet are burning. My feet are burning. This sand is hot. Why are they burning?

  14. LWoo said

    LOL @ Mrs J! I was thinking about her attire at work and wondering if ANY employer would let their employees show up with slippers on- all the while trying to drink a beer in the back of the store.

    I don’t think she served any time, but she did have to do community service.

  15. LWoo said

    $500 fine and community service…

  16. Dy said

    @14 Lwoo..lol..You know she had to be stinking of alcohol from the night before.I don’t think she served any time either.She was just put in the Drunk Tank to sober her ass up. Probably a fine is all she got, I’m just guessing though, I don’t remember.

  17. Mrs. Hugh Jackman said

    Thanks LWoo for info. So Snooki just rec’d community service. That was the first time I’ve watched the show (technically caught last 20 min.), and WOW! I was in SHOCK when I saw her drinking & stumbling around at her workplace. That, and she walked off the job & continued to drink. The whole business with talking to the middle-aged couple about older people & their sex lives…….again, WOW! My jaw dropped. LOL!

    Those house-slippers were something else. If I was wearing those, I know I’d trip and fall down my stairs at home. I wouldn’t need any alcohol to fall down in those.

  18. Mrs. Hugh Jackman said

    I’m glad she was arrested, fined, and had to do community service. I wonder what her cs was. Wonder if she had to pick up trash along the beach, or along the road.

    Since I haven’t watched the show before, do most/all the kids (sorry, adults) drink on the show? That was probably the silliest question ever. LOL.

    I can’t believe I’m admitting this, but I use to watch (when it first aired) some show called “Real World”. Believe that’s right. Shows in different parts of the US. Believe one was in UK. That’s what most of those kids/young adults did. Drink. Drink. Puke. Call a loved one. Get into a fight. Drink. Sleep with a cast-mate. Drink and puke some more. Oh, what entertainment. Basically a soap.

    HW shows are the best soap imo!

  19. lmaoooo u peeps are killin me!!! Shnooks did community service at an animal shelter.

    Lwoo anudda gooda recap!! Never too long when describing this bunch antics..

    Bryan dear.. they all look the same cause they all have the same fadda!! The mailman!!

  20. Dy said

    Wheres the beach?… Wheres the beach??

    I still love Snookie, she freakin cracks me up

  21. LWoo said

    @ 16 Dy: My first thought was ‘Damn, she didn’t even take a shower to go to work!’ Yuck! So, yeah, you’re right about her probably wreaking of alcohol when she went to work.

    LMAO @ Mrs J! Yes, all of them drink on the show. They’re not too bad…sometimes. Maybe it’s because I’m over 30, but I can’t see how they can drink so damn much! I don’t remember drinking that much in my early 20’s.

    Thank you, IJS!

  22. Rosie said

    LWoo, you are a recaping natural! It came out great and it wasn’t too long…perfect!

  23. LWoo said

    Thank you, Rosie!

  24. Rosie said

    LWoo… 🙂
    Xo

  25. Bryan said

    It wouldn’t suprise me about their parentage, but then what the excuse of those Jerseylicous call girls, they too look like these Jersey shore tricks???

  26. LWoo said

    I can’t believe how they dress. I love showing off my legs and imaginative cleavage, but there’s a tasteful way of doing it. They just look dirty.

    I want to tell you guys: I’ve been on a white shorts watch from Sammi! She has ONE pair of white shorts that she wears ALL THE TIME! I haven’t seen them yet! What’s up with that?! LOL!

  27. Dy said

    @26 She does Lwoo..LMAO!

  28. LWoo said

    Muahahaha! I’m glad someone noticed other than me! LOL!!! She always wears them out to the clubs.

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