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Laundry, Tan & Condoms…Oh My!

Posted by LWoo on January 5, 2011

First off, let me introduce myself. I’m LWoo and I whined for Tinselkitty to let me do the Jersey Shore recaps. She was nice enough to let me do them and I’m VERY excited about it! I love Jersey Shore and quite addicted to it. Maybe it’s the muscles of The Situation (paper bag over his face, of course) or because Snooki is darker than I am! Either way, I likey!

Put on your tanning lotion and get the penicillin ready, peeps— Jersey Shore is coming back in a couple of days! Thursday, January 6th, to be exact!

Soon, we’ll hear the wonderful yelling of JWoww, the cooking skillz of The Situation & dear Snooki’s whining about her poof.

Let’s recap the last season, shall we?

It started off with an uneasiness between Ronnie & Sammi. Why? Because the two had apparently broken up right before they entered the house. The rest of the group didn’t want to get involved in their mess, but it’s a small house, ya know?

Angelina came back, bitchy as ever. And nasty as hell- leaving an opened, used, maxi pad in the bathroom on the floor- which prompted The Situation to call her a ‘Dirty Little Hamster’ after putting it under her pillow. Awesome, I know. More awesome is that she had a random dude over when she found it under her pillow. Poor guy….RUN!!!

The biggest issue of last season was….The Letter. Yes, The infamous Letter. You see,  Ronnie was trying to ‘work things out again’ with Sammi, but he kept going to the nightclubs making out with Grenades behind her back…then he’d come back to the house and lay in the bed with her. Eww. Nasty little……..anyway. Sammi suspected that something was going on because every time infidelity of any sort was discussed, the room grew thick with tension & you heard crickets! But this IS Sammi. She’s in denial and she’s not the brightest bulb in the box.


The girls (JWoww, Snooki & even Angelina) felt bad for her…Girl Code and all, ya know? They didn’t want to tell her face-to-face because they didn’t want to lose Ronnie as a friend or start s*it in the house. So they decided to write an anonymous note- telling Sammi about Ronnie’s extra activities at the clizzubb. Well, the note didn’t have the effect that they thought, of course. (Let me backtrack and say that Sammi kept whining to all the girls that, if Ronnie was doing something, to tell her). Sammi was more pissed at the authors of the note- rather than the contents! I know. Duh.

Anywho. Sammi was talking smack about the other girls, Angelina kissed her ass to be her friend and told Sammi that the other girls wrote the note (even though she told them it was a great idea) and Sammi & JWoww ended up fighting. Needless to say, Sammi felt like an idiot when she saw what Ronnie was doing behind her back.

Oh, and Angelina screwed Vinnie. So that makes 3 out of 4 guys she screwed in the Jersey Shore house. I know….but I warned you to get the penicillin ready, didn’t I???

This season, we get introduced to Deena instead of Angelina. Thank God, because Angelina saying ‘Yous’ was like nails on a friggin’ chalkboard!!!

Well, I hope you liked my introduction. Until next time when I have a full recap!



29 Responses to “Laundry, Tan & Condoms…Oh My!”

  1. Rosie said

    Really good recap.. How do I know? I watched the whole 2nd season last weekend, as per your instructions. It did make me want to take a shower, every episode and 1/2, though, especially when Angelina was around. The Situation makes 10 million, and he still can’t get laid. 🙂

  2. Olive the other Reindeer said

    Applause all around Lwoo!!!! Ronnie looks like and acts like the typical macho dumb guy,,,What Sammi sees in him,,I’ll never know,,,I read last season that Albie Manzo was hanging out with Angelina,,ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

    Can’t wait for your next recap

  3. Rosie said

    Hi Olive! Albie was out with Angelina???? Oh no! Get the antibiotics!!

  4. Dy said

    Bwaaahh Rosie…”The Situation makes 10 million, and still can’t get laid!” Lmao!

    Great recap LWoo, Looking forward to reading all of yours..Now we have to IJS to do Jerseyicious

    Good Morning Olive, and Rosie xo

  5. Rosie said

    Good morning Dy!!!!
    I’m all caught up! Are you proud of me?

  6. Dy said

    @5 Hi Rosie,

    Yes, I am..:)

  7. Rosie said

    We’ve had two weeks of no new programming, and all at once, everything is on! Good thing I have a double track TiVo ..

  8. Olive the other Reindeer said

    Good Morning Dy and Rosie,,how are my girl today? xoxoxoxoxo

  9. Olive the other Reindeer said

    *my girls..oh typos r me

  10. Dy said


    I know Rosie..I have been jonsing, Geeze! Only good thing is we have been able to catch up, over and over and freakin over again!

  11. Dy said

    I’m just freakin peachy today Olive..How is my girl? Feeling better? BabyDoll?

  12. Rosie said

    Hi Olive!
    I’m pretty good. Just getting over a nasty cold and sinus infection. 😦
    The holidays were lovely, over here… So nice!
    This Saturday, my Kiddies are coming over for a big dinner. We do it every year because we hate the end of the season.

  13. Dy said

    Rosie, I’m glad you are getting over your cold and sinus infection, Thank God!

    What a nice idea for your dinner on Saturday Night, how fun!

  14. LWoo said

    Thank you guys. I’m glad you liked my first official post. 😀

    @ 1 Rosie: The Situation can’t get laid because he’s not attractive. Period. LOL! His face looks like a donkey butt! You know it must be bad when his body looks like it does. SO glad that you got caught up!!

    @ 2 Olive: What does Sammi see in Ronnie? Smush. 😛 He’s called her every name in the book and completely dogged her out, but she stays– like a dog.

  15. Dy said

    “Donkey Butt”..Lmao..LWoo!!..I think he looks like freakin Popeye,seriously!

    Sammi is just an Ass, absolutley no self respect!

  16. LWoo said

    UGH!!!!! I KNEW it was someone that I couldn’t put my finger on, Dyana!!! Popeye!!!!! LMAO!!! It’s more like a cross between him & the Hamburger guy, though. “I’ll gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today!!” LMAO!!!

    You’re right about Sammi…no self-respect at all. I can’t believe how she got pissed at the writers of the note instead of Ronnie. Even the Situation told her “it was in the note, so it’s true.” She was all hurt, but still messed around with Ronnie. I wouldn’t have even asked HIM about it. I would’ve just started to ignore him & not slept with him anymore, then let him see for himself what happened after the episodes aired.

    Rosie- what did you think of Sammi? Were you watching her with your mouth hung open?! What did you think of her ‘fight’ with JWoww? She acted as though she whipped Jenni’s ass! But Jen was getting held back and she wasn’t!

  17. Dy said

    @ 16 Haa..You’re rollin today Lwoo..You’re killin me!! xo

    I can not believe that Sammi was so freakin stupid about the whole thing and had all that misplaced anger. Ronnie made a fool out of her, but she made a fool out herself the way she handled it all,and especially him..Her saying I’m Done, over and over again,and she wasn’t. She should have cut that boy off,and out.And moved on with her life, instead of lying in bed,and crying and acting the fool.

  18. LWoo said

    Sammi had me screaming at my television! I was dumbfounded at her reaction to the letter and the events that happened after it. He had no problem treating her like a dog, and saying so to the other guys, then climbing in her bed at night.

    You noticed how she would lay around in the bed all day- depressed? She looked like an idiot.

    They had them on after one of the episodes aired on a WWHL- type of format and Sammi got to see EVERYTHING that Ronnie was doing. Snooki & JWoww were just sitting there as if to say “told ya so.” Then Snooki told her that they told her about Ronnie, regardless if they didn’t tell her the way she wanted. And it didn’t matter because she was still with him- which was why they were so hesitant in the first place.

  19. Dy said

    @18 You are so right, LWoo. The way Ronnie treated her was disgusting,the way he acted at the clubs and how he talked to her and about her, was awful, just awful.It really made me sick.
    I can’t beleive that she tolerated all of that ,and turned all of that crap around on Snookie and Jenny. It was not easy for them to write that letter,they felt bad ,really they did, they didn’t know what eles to do..That goofy Sammi was more freakin concerned about who wrote that letter than what was in it. SMH!!

  20. LWoo said

    True, they didn’t find it easy to write the letter in the first place. And Sammi kept telling everyone to tell her. She knew what Ronnie was doing. She just wanted to be angry at someone else because she was afraid of losing Ronnie.

    Classic case of a woman who doesn’t even love herself.

  21. Dy said

    He totally 100% disrespected her. What is almost worse is that she disrespected herself

  22. Olive the other Reindeer said

    Dy I’m so glad u are freaking peachy,,u make me laff when I need it…I’m so whipped from this infection,I can only do a little bit at a time,,,
    Glad u are feeling better Rosie,,,awww family time,,that is the best,,hope u hav fun,,glad the holidays were nice,,,mine was too,,I know what u mean,,about the holidays..I wanna; keep my tree up all year,well I have an excuse,,,My Dad is Russian Orthodox so his CHristmas is the 7th,,

    Ok,,,I’m gonna’ go rest…u know I luv you 2,,,you 2 seem to always be there when I get downand then u get me to be snarky again,,,,mwaaaaaaaaaaaaah xoxoxoxxoxoxoxo

  23. Dy said

    @22 You gotta give it time Baby Doll, you have been through hell,you were in the hospital for a month then back in few what a week or so(when your surguery was ok’d) and then back in for a few days,9 when you got an infection) Dear God,as I said you have been through hell. We are all pulling for you sweetheart,and giving you strength. We love you Olive! xo

  24. G-sus said

    LWoo, LMAO at the box with just Snooki’s hair in it. Too Funny!
    Just read a thing about Snooki telling Ellen that she blacks out from drinking at least once a month. If we were going to have a Jersey Shore Dead Pool, I would have to put my money on her. So sad that someone doesn’t step in and get her some help.

  25. Dy said

    I saw that too G-Sus..Wow, Snookster really needs to back away from the bottle! Blacking out once a month Geeze!!

  26. G-sus said

    Dy, I know, scary right? I never get how even though these celebs are obviously sick, they still get money thrown at them by the movie and tv companies. Everyone can see where she is heading and you would think that someone would step in and say that they are no longer going to pay her if she doesn’t get help.
    Another example is Charlie Sheen. He is a ticking time bomb yet is still pulling 1 million per episode.

  27. Dy said

    Hi G-Sus,
    Snookster is going to end up in rehab, seriously that is bad blacking out once a month,thats no joke.

    Charlie Sheen, seriously,I’m surprised the man is still alive.

  28. LWoo said

    She blacks out once a month?? Who the hell drinks THAT much?! Geez! If I get a buzz, I panic!!! Maybe that’s because I’m over 30! lol

    @ 24 G-Sus: I can’t take credit for the Brady Bunch-type box at the top. They added it right before it was posted. I did the other pic, though. 😀 lol

  29. LWoo said

    I’m doing my recap tomorrow afternoon, peeps! Gotta work in the morning! 😀

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