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The Dark Side Of The Force Is The Pathway To Many Abilities Some Consider To Be…Unnatural

Posted by tinselkitty on December 23, 2010


Okay, who’s god is it that we’ve pissed off? Obviously someone’s mad at us and we need to rectify the situation now. Tinselkitty cares not which deity you subscribe to, only that we band together to appease the angry overlord that is allowing this to continue.

Radar Online (go figure) is reporting that Danielle is heading back into the studio to air quotes continue air quotes her recording career.

“I’m going back into the recording studio to work on my own. I think that is where people are going to set me aside. And it won’t be any more slit your wrist music. I had to do it, but now it’s all about having fun.”

Uh, what? Danielle thinks that’s where people are going to set her aside? What the hell does that mean?

Radar Online also says this has been a big year for Danielle, what with two singles, as host of Wealth TV’s Social and now with record labels vying for her. Remember, I didn’t say that, Radar Online did.

“I actually have two huge labels shopping me. For me, it’s about connecting with the club scene and being happy and bringing a great vibe. I’m ready to give a message of happiness and it’s going to be great. It’s going to be house [music] and I’m definitely a pop artist.”

Tinselkitty can actually translate this snippet for you – “I’m trying to get back the gay audience I always said I had but didn’t really ever have, and it’s gonna be great, and I’m going with house because that’s what the gays like and I really pissed them off and I am clueless to the fact that gays are smarter than I give them credit for, happy great joy joy.”

As with all things Danielle, we know it gets better, right?

“I’m writing my own music, too, but I do have to give credit where credit is due. I will probably have a co-writer or two in the future. I will be putting up the first few as my own.”

Where does she look for inspiration, you might ask? Well, I know, YOU wouldn’t ask that but I need a way to include this tiddlybit.

“My daughter Gillian because she is a pop rock artist. Before I can put hers out I have to pave that path for her. And she is my inspiration and she helps to keep it real and young. Then there is Christine, who is 17, and she will make sure I’m appealing to her audience age, too.”

Oh, yes she did. She has to be steal little Gillian’s thunder so she can shiny it up and give it back to her, don’tchaknow? Just think about how poor Christine would never, ever have been able to model if it hadn’t been for Danielle’s own modeling career from way back in the day?

Danielle also tells Radar Online that she won’t be doing any collaborations with the other singing housewives.

“No. There is no reason to. I’m friends with some of them privately. We keep it that way.”

First, no you aren’t, you giant lying sack of shit. And second, if you aren’t lying, then how proud are you of the fact that your friends don’t want anyone to know you’re friends with them?

At least you’ve promised to not give us any more music to slit your wrists to, Danielle. Suicide is bad enough, but that would just be sad squared to know that someone killed themselves to your music.

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