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Seriously? I Still Have To Suck It In From Beyond?

Posted by tinselkitty on December 7, 2010


Might As Well Go Straight To Hell, Then

By now I’m sure you’ve all heard of the failure that is the X Celebrity Is Dead campaign. As of Monday evening, less that $500K had been coughed up. Get it, coughed up? I’m so funny! But I’m not here to rehash the obvious point that if you want to raise money, promise less Kardashian instead of asking for money to get Kardashian back to pre-fundraising levels. Whatever. If you refuse to recognize my genius then I just can’t help you.

Nope, I’m here to bitch about the Photoshop job.

It’s bad enough that even Playboy models aren’t good enough for Playboy, but now we have to be skinny to be dead, too? After sucking it in all your life, weren’t you kind of looking forward to a nice big exhale? Why even pad the coffin if I can’t relax? This is some bullshit is what this is.

For those of you saying it wasn’t ‘shopped, I give you this. Sure, maybe Kim K exists on an alternate plane where she gets smaller and more whittled with each passing year instead of porking out like the rest of us, but if that’s the case then she needs to stay over there on her side.

 

Kim K's Playboy shoot - gorgeous already with normal waist

What do you suppose the baby powder is for?

FYI – Kim, maybe you want to call that pharma dude that paid the other $500K for you to get back in the game. I bet he’s got a crush on you. Or Ryan Seacrest. One or the other.

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