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Reality Estate – Lisa Vanderpump

Posted by tinselkitty on December 3, 2010

Giggy Sleeps Here

Typically, real estate posts follow a certain format wherein the front of the home in question is featured prominently at the top and above the jump. If you happen to be remarkably in touch with your audience, however, you give them what you know they want. I know what you really want to feast your gaze upon is Lisa Vanderpump’s closet. Kapow, bitches!

This is how you do it, Teresa.

Okay, now that we have that out of the way, here’s the front. Not the most impressive picture, eh? I didn’t think so, either. Those hedges are hiding a world of hurt, though, dearies. Not hurt for the Vanderpumps, mind you, hurt for us. I am giving Lisa Vanderpump extra credit for going out of her way to make us feel comfortable. This right ‘chere is proof that money CAN buy you class. The trick seems to be to not shove your financial statements in others’ faces. Hmmm, it seems like there are a few housewives that could benefit from this protip but I just can’t seem to remember which ones they are. I’m sure it’ll come to me. Let’s carry on, shall we?

Next up we have an aerial view of Lisa Vanderpump’s shack, as she so charmingly referred to it this evening. For comparison’s sake, when I checked out my humble abode on Zillow, the photo section showed several homes within the frame. Lisa Vanderpump’s home took up the whole damn thing! I don’t know where they got that lowball valuation but the real story here is that monthly payment. Yeah, look again. That’s a five digit number! Chickenfarker!


Seriously, Teresa, go get a pen and some paper and take some damn notes.

Lisa Vanderpump’s house is so massive it has its own web site. Lord it took Bravo a while to find some housewives with real money but they’ve finally hit the mark. I can’t think of a better housewife to be so fortunate. I do not begrudge her one single bit of anything. Lisa Vanderpump, you are a magnificent and I am officially declaring you tinselkitty’s favorite housewife ever. Thank you ever so much for agreeing to do this show.


Incidentally, did you know Lisa Vanderpump has her own site? Or that Giggy Tweets? How about that he calls Lisa Vanderpump “mistress”? You know what happens when you call your human mistress? You get your own pink iPad and get to stay at the Ritz, apparently. I will be discussing these items with my cats this evening and we will see how they feel about it. I say it’s high time they started kissing my butt on the regular. For chickenfarkers sake.


14 Responses to “Reality Estate – Lisa Vanderpump”

  1. olive the other reindeer said

    Tk you know cats don’t kiss ass,,dogs don’t know any better,,altho Giggy must have some cat in him,,because he has his mistress and his mister and even the live in guy wrapped around his little paw.

    I agree..Lisa rules,,,best line of the night..”who knew under all that dynamite.only a 2 inch fuse”..referring to Cedric is the Turkish bath,,,,and she doesn’t look like she has had plastic surgery,,like some wives,,,can’t temember who,,but I’m sure they will come to me,,OMG,,Taylor still scares me,,,Joker??????

  2. Daniela said

    I adore Lisa Vanderpump…she is my favorite housewife as well. She has enough class in her little pinky than all the others, and I mean EVERY other housewife! I think her and Kyle and Adrienne make you feel as though you could have a cup of coffee with them.
    I LOVED last night on WWHL when Adrienne was asked whether Camille comes off as bragging. Her expression answered that question! She seems very down to earth, I like her as well.
    Though I truly feel sorry for her, Kim just screams “LOSER!” She totally lacks social skills. I totally understand why Kyle gets upset with her, she is only doing it out of love.
    Cockymille deserved what she got at the end of the day.
    Taylor is a faccia brutta. I don’t know what she looked like before, but plastic surgery made her ugly and scary.

  3. olive the other reindeer said

    methinks if Kyles’s gorgeous hubby is selling 55 million dollar houses…um the business from NKW will barely be missed..sorry Camille,,in the pecking order,,u lose

    I read the producer’s blog that our hearts will break for Camille in the coming weeks,,,I saw her interviews after the seperation or divorce started and she made me not like her then,,,I think Kelsey was wise to go to New York,,he should have gone further to get away from that nutcake,,,My boyfriend asked me last night why she was kissing on that dude (Nick),,I said,,oh she’s just the run of the mill slut,,lol…evil Olive

  4. Dani said

    Mornng all. Enjoyed the show last night. Lisa and her hubby are my faves. So at ease with each other and no pretense.

    I so want Kim to find some happiness. I was glad to see last night she wasn’t the poor single girl for once. However she comes off as desperate at times. Kim, Kim, never, never, never mention marriage on a first date. I thought Martin and her were connecting till she made that comment about marrying her first blind date. His facial expression said it all at that point. But I did enjoy her being a bit giddy with happiness as opposed to her usual sad self.

    As usual with Camille, she needed paid staff around to boost her ego. The rest of the episode was a breath of fresh air without her around.

  5. G said

    Hi all. Liked the show last night. Kim was less awkward last night, which was nice to see. And what the hell is with the spa lady? I don’t think I would let anyone hook electricity up to my face who doesn’t know that her cross-my-heart grandma bra under a see-through tank top is not a good look!
    I can not take anymore of Camille’s interview scenes. Why is she unable to look at the camera when she talks? I think she needs to cut back on the Adderal.

  6. Bryan said

    Im hoping Camille finds out about that party and the fun they had without her and she gets upset because they had fun without her

    “What are you saying, you had fun because I wasn’t there?”, “Yes Trick, we did!!!!”

  7. Bryan said

    Hello all, happy friday!!!!

  8. BobLHead said

    I haven’t watched yet, but I agree with TK….Lisa is the BEST housewife EVER!

  9. BobLHead said

    LOL Bryan….

  10. olive the other reindeer said

    LOL Bryan,,oh but Cacamille has all the arse kissers she pays to blow sunshine up her buttocks

  11. Pixie said

    Hi, all! Had to work last nite so I missed all the fun.

    Kinda silly but Taylor’s outdoor couch really bothered me. It seemed too plush to put outside. Also, I don’t think the pillows matched very well, but maybe I”m cetainly no interior/exterior designer. Seemed like Russell thought the couch was a bit much for outside, too. Didn’t they file for Chapter 7 or 11 or something? Maybe he was worried about spending more money.

    Also, Taylor looks borderline anorexic too me. Her scapula was jutting out in a most unattractive way when she was in that pink dress she wore to the party. Maybe if she gained 10 lb she wouldn’t have to inject so many fillers in her face.

    I actually feel very sorry for Taylor. Wonder if she shops excessively to fill the void of her unsupportive husband. Like my mom alwaus says: when you marry for money, you end up earning ever penny.

  12. Pixie said

    @6 Bryan, that would be so great if they catch Cacamille’s reaction to the great party (sans Caca) on camera. I would LOVE to see that!

  13. Rosie said

    Hi all. Moving day. Trying to post before they pull the plug on my cable and wi-fi.
    I like the real estate articles Tinselkitty. The NY women have real money too, you just can’t get square footage in the city (but it will cost a fortune anyway). NY and Bev Hills are the real deal.

  14. olive the other reindeer said

    I keep thinking the same thing Pixie,,well fleetingly,,that maybe if Taylor gained a little weight she wouldn’t look so scary,,,she is defo either anorexic or on the edge of it. Kyle said she is a large woman compared to the others in Bev Hills,,,now that’s a bold statement

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