Real Housewives of Beverly Hills – RECAP
Posted by tinselkitty on November 19, 2010
The Art of War
Maciavellic – of, like, or befitting Big Macs
Maciavellic – being or acting in accordance with the principles of McDonald’s as analyzed in the McDonald’s employee handbook, in which sandwich expediency is placed above morality and the use of craft and deceit to maintain the authority and carry out the policies of a front line manager is described
Maciavellic – characterized by subtle or unscrupulous use of cheese, lettuce, pickles or special sauce in regards to McDonald’s flagship sandwich
One of my greatest joys in life is learning new stuff. If I could be a professional student I would. It pleases me to no end when little mcnuggets of knowledge are scattered around otherwise mindless television. Now that you know this, you can imagine my delight to hear Camille utter the word maciavellic. What what what? What is this new word dancing delicately across my eardrum? I’ve never heard it before, therefore I must look it up. (If you haven’t picked up on this yet, I am the internet’s biggest fan, although Kim Zolciak’s song is trying to ruin it for me.)
Alas, my curiosity was not to be sated. No matter where I looked, I could not find this word, maciavellic. I was worried that our dear readers might be similarly disappointed and so I defined it myself. That’s how I roll, homeys. Servicy. Camille just really wanted a Big Mac. She’s lovin’ it, especially since Kelsey ain’t lovin’ it back, lately. Amirite?
Oh, wait. She was meaning Kyle was in need of a Big Mac. Close, but no cigar. We quickly find out that Taylor is, in fact, the most Big Mac-cy of all. It wasn’t Kyle starting shit, it was Taylor! How Big Mac-ey of her to plant those sesame seeds and then sit there at the table with nary a word about her role in calling forth the tornado of insecurity. That must have been what she meant when she threated to go all Oklahoma on their asses. Honestly, how did she manage to get through that whole night without Camille ever saying “well that’s what Taylor told me”? I’ve had some drama loving friends and when there have been fights there are, without fail, accusations thrown around at some point in the night about who said what when and where and to whom.
When watching the previews last week, I was a bit surprised that Kyle was so upset about Kim not backing her. It looked like she was blowing it out of proportion but I changed my mind tonight. I don’t think Kim was too kerfuffled to get a word in edgewise. I think she deliberately kept her mouth shut to get a stab back in at Kyle. The remark about Kyle needing to know her place sealed it for me. For what it’s worth, even with everything that happened that night, I seriously doubt Kyle would have let Taylor go Oklahoma on Kim’s ass. She wouldn’t even have let Taylor go Rhode Island on Kim’s ass.
Kyle and Lisa Vanderpump head out the next day to shop for the perfect premiere dresses, which leads one to wonder how Kyle managed to sneak out of the hotel without her sister knowing about it. Lisa Vanderpump perplexes me. Why is she on this show? Don’t get me wrong, I love her eight ways from Sunday, but Bravo doesn’t cast anyone lately unless there is a hot mess of something going on. Perhaps it was a case of realizing how fabulous her name is and giving her an automatic pass. Pssst, Bravo, you might want to think about doing a contest where I could win a day with Lisa Vanderpump. I’d gladly hand over my personal info and browsing history for that kind of prize. For a day with the Atlanta ladies? Not so much.
Hey, that reminds me! Tonight we get to see that Phaedra Parks was right all along. Shame on all of us for doubting her. White people sure do eat canned food, as demonstrated by Russell Armstrong cracking open a can of crescent rolls. I’d say he even took it up a notch. Admit it, none of y’all even considered canned bread until just now, did you? Y’all got caught up in the Spam and Vienna Sausages and green beans and cheese.
Oh, snap! Oh, just light tap of the seam on the edge of the counter!
Am I alone in appreciating the diversity that the Beverly Hills franchise has brought to us? Finally, after years of gay friend after gay friend after gay friend, it’s just so refreshing to see a wholesome, not at all inappropriate relationship between a straight man and straight woman who are married to other people. All across the country, little heterosexual boys are finally learning that they, too, can have a close and intimate bond with someone other than their wives. This kind of deep, touching friendship has been sorely underrepresented in today’s media. Nick is showing us all that really brave men can step up to the plate and be there for someone. All. The. Damn. Time.
I bet Kyle will be able to get her one of those kinds of dude friends as soon as she learns not to be such a jealous, petulant child.
You know what else is petulant? Camille making the snide remark about “get to see Kelsey Grammer, oooh” backstage after the show. Ten bucks says this particular talking head segment was filmed not too long after Camille found out about the other woman.
“I guess the best you can hope for in a long relationship is that you married someone who’s decent and nice. There’s been a lot of stuff that was a challenge in our marriage and she’s certainly been through a lot of travail.” Aw, damn Kelsey, you just gave me a sads.
Kim’s decided she’s tired of getting left behind a la Vegas and the bathroom on Broadway so she is willing to get set up by the ladies. Taylor’s head interjects to tell us that, although she really likes and respects Kim, she just doesn’t know of anyone who is good enough for her. I assume that’s what she meant to say but it seems the editing was a bit off in the delivery as it came out sounding more like hell no will I set that dumb bitch up with any of my friends. It’s shocking how those editors manage to keep their jobs year after year with all the mistakes they make.
That did suck that she got left behind in the bathroom. Girls don’t do that, do they? Why do they have to do that? Girls should build each other up, empower each other, not tear each other down. We should all listen more to Camille and take her advice. Even though every female on earth has dedicated themselves to tearing Camille down out of jealousy, she’s risen above it and found it in her heart to continue empowering her fellow women. Just this episode we see her empowering Kyle to spend more time with her hubs by making a unilateral decision to pull the Grammer real estate business out from under Mauricio. That is so nice! Let’s all make a pact to try to be more like Camille this week. If we all work together, I bet we can turn this country around. Nick will drive.
The Art of War my ass. She had an old copy of Highlights magazine tucked inside that book.